tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224776759494183852024-02-06T20:32:25.564-08:00Life Coach BlogCertified life coach gives advice about managing life transitions, health and wellness, ageing and living a happy and fulfilled life.Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.comBlogger325125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-78719176656546914572023-11-09T14:24:00.002-08:002023-11-09T14:33:05.620-08:00What You Need To Know About Lying to Your Therapist<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeOtDwRiz2I8HF-7GxxIvRWI_lQlHYFR1XU4ngPQs3GIUEoC7kPfsImSu1-ovVa84n7PrhYRwazqLKzjRFpqlMCasqB2_fX_97pOctUWyZJ6vLgAcvmN4aadP4Ravs8lvS3wIpMhjrW-mQLTgLaNfWeVhg7oF6nbmc0F7ixNT4GsDFvLrliyLCruw-tMg/s5596/pexels-cottonbro-studio-4098368%20therapist.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5596" data-original-width="3731" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeOtDwRiz2I8HF-7GxxIvRWI_lQlHYFR1XU4ngPQs3GIUEoC7kPfsImSu1-ovVa84n7PrhYRwazqLKzjRFpqlMCasqB2_fX_97pOctUWyZJ6vLgAcvmN4aadP4Ravs8lvS3wIpMhjrW-mQLTgLaNfWeVhg7oF6nbmc0F7ixNT4GsDFvLrliyLCruw-tMg/s320/pexels-cottonbro-studio-4098368%20therapist.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels<o:p></o:p></p><p style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">Clearly seeing reality is a waystation toward the goal of enhancing your wellbeing. As you might imagine, lying to your therapist impairs both your and your therapist’s ability to see that reality. If you’re like most people, you’ve probably lied to your therapist.</p><p style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">In their book, <a href="https://www.apa.org/pubs/books/4317513"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="color: #0563c1; font-style: italic;">Secrets and Lies in Psychotherapy</span></a>, the authors report that between 84 and 93% of clients lie to their therapists, often about multiple things. This isn’t terribly surprising since <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/questions-character/202211/are-most-people-liars"><span style="color: #0563c1;">research has shown</span></a> that the average person lies once or twice a day.</p><p style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">Consider your honesty on a first date. Odds are, you may be less than totally truthful. You may paint your job in a more positive light, talk about relationships with your children in a slightly more glowing way, or tell an anecdote about something, embellishing the details to make it more humorous or interesting. </p><p style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">These are all normal lies told for the sake of impression management, to make us look a little better, appear somewhat more accomplished or take a conversation from merely interesting to scintillating.</p><div><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/b87a511fb622?source=friends_link&sk=e0a165de64e904fd5965692f5a7a5e1f" target="_blank">Read more here…</a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-56810471085661927772023-08-14T14:51:00.006-07:002023-08-14T14:52:30.074-07:00Before Offering Advice To Adult Children Consider This One Question<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvPN5p6QufjnhIBfPUGwGFwIL8pBjI0KA8VhWo6r527Y-wWG47OT3C0mzVoY3xoq_3nNLCw_PMbfybxqLMKdXI6RxO6lGATf2cEo4BH3EQd4CnvLLRV0RJ7RiU2qSY21Ko336Xpz_l9i9ANbRMgkd4NQAZQ9Zzsmp2f3GrnclZhTLlwZ-BROse3vlbUqI/s960/pexels-cottonbro-studio-5494181%20mother-daughter2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvPN5p6QufjnhIBfPUGwGFwIL8pBjI0KA8VhWo6r527Y-wWG47OT3C0mzVoY3xoq_3nNLCw_PMbfybxqLMKdXI6RxO6lGATf2cEo4BH3EQd4CnvLLRV0RJ7RiU2qSY21Ko336Xpz_l9i9ANbRMgkd4NQAZQ9Zzsmp2f3GrnclZhTLlwZ-BROse3vlbUqI/s320/pexels-cottonbro-studio-5494181%20mother-daughter2.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><p>Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"> </p></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal">When I decided to marry at the ripe old age of 19, I did not
seek my parents’ advice. They thought it was a terrible idea (spoiler alert:
they were right) but they did not let on. Had they, I would not have listened.
And I would have been angry. I knew what I was doing. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">At a certain age, we all become experts. We have advice for
friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and, of course, our adult children. Whether
married, divorced, remarried or never-married, we believe we know what everyone
else should do on these matters, and myriad others, from work, to end-of-life
choices. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Do we have a crystal ball in which we can see the future? I
think not. Do we believe we’re right? Yes, we do. Are we right? That’s open to
debate. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/2cff7b1d05bc?source=friends_link&sk=8c21a3428254df8d9ff8e5482861eed9" target="_blank">Continue reading here...</a></p><p></p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-88482162120267355562023-04-18T10:57:00.000-07:002023-04-18T10:57:59.619-07:00Buy Less and Use More? Explorations in Changing our Consumption Patterns<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8sJvfvkF1mzmqTK7k-IuVnkXyasjnEYdRncMf_4N7Uu-1k93VyXtj5oJLO74f-LH_pRJ8aoBeL6pP4AXFxjKLiS2cTOU-nU44qY4nulqzqdP6deyQY2XcCZi35idEqKskmOkX-xDnrt86bl3qsokzsoXW6GDvYRHJq4TZ9RM77WxY_wRyCN88rfXk/s2800/pexels-ron-lach-8454347.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2800" data-original-width="1794" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8sJvfvkF1mzmqTK7k-IuVnkXyasjnEYdRncMf_4N7Uu-1k93VyXtj5oJLO74f-LH_pRJ8aoBeL6pP4AXFxjKLiS2cTOU-nU44qY4nulqzqdP6deyQY2XcCZi35idEqKskmOkX-xDnrt86bl3qsokzsoXW6GDvYRHJq4TZ9RM77WxY_wRyCN88rfXk/s320/pexels-ron-lach-8454347.jpg" width="205" /></a></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><h3 style="text-align: left;">Underuse and overbuying lead to too much stuff.
Understanding why you buy and contemplating changes in your behavior is the road
to change. </h3><p> Did you know The Princess of Wales <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/kate-middleton-rental-dress-gown_n_63897305e4b0151bdb1fc8a8">wore
a rented gown</a> to a gala in 2022? It was an event focusing on solutions to
pressing environmental concerns and attendees were asked to focus on
sustainability in attire, but she’s not alone.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.vogue.co.uk/fashion/article/cate-blanchett-sustainable-fashion-venice-film-festival">Cate
Blanchette opted to re-wear</a> only, i.e., no new outfits, at a film festival
in 2020.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In 2019, <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/jane-fonda-not-buying-clothing_n_5dc99ae6e4b0fcfb7f6aa0ca">Jane
Fonda vowed</a> not to buy any more clothes.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The average garment is <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/20/fashion/fast-fashion-sustainable-clothing.html?referringSource=articleShare">worn
only about seven times</a>. Americans typically buy at least <a href="https://www.anthropocenemagazine.org/sustainablefashion/#:~:text=Presently%2C%20many%20items%20are%20worn,they%20did%2015%20years%20ago">one
clothing item a week</a> (yes, a week!). Some of us can even find things we’ve
had for years with the tags still on, or garments we’ve worn only once or
twice. Most of us have <a href="https://www.geekwire.com/2016/stuffstr-turns-unused-stuff-sustainable-treasure-proving-power-circular-economy/">$7000
of unused stuff</a>. I wasn’t able to verify the origin of this last figure,
but look around you. It makes sense doesn’t it?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The Jane Fonda pledge stuck in my mind even though, like the
Princess and Cate, I’m quite sure they all have more, and more expensive,
clothes in their closets than I. Yet, when I look in my closets and drawers, if
I’m completely honest, I do not need more.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/3b0918f9a3df?source=friends_link&sk=97fb1d714985288868f91bc0ddf99262" target="_blank"><i>Read more here... </i></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-47832950057108247192023-02-14T03:30:00.006-08:002023-02-14T03:30:00.211-08:00 What Makes A Marriage Work Long-Term?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzlDSXx4nrcH2QH_oVfYadLoMIYtsotsGPKtkcq7S4nCWzrpmVM_OXGLXdYAh45vxL1KWkDiAHzeShl_QxMK07ZBtTDt-eH7KBzKKfwssknRievq-FWNpv_q_-FD2YvXYiUMXbtDLi1RuOYGjHCS4LvscvxMHtbDvsLUcheOe2Q_ZVSUJwr3G-zQ2S/s425/Dating-Kids.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="282" data-original-width="425" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzlDSXx4nrcH2QH_oVfYadLoMIYtsotsGPKtkcq7S4nCWzrpmVM_OXGLXdYAh45vxL1KWkDiAHzeShl_QxMK07ZBtTDt-eH7KBzKKfwssknRievq-FWNpv_q_-FD2YvXYiUMXbtDLi1RuOYGjHCS4LvscvxMHtbDvsLUcheOe2Q_ZVSUJwr3G-zQ2S/s320/Dating-Kids.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span face="Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><div><span face="Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span></div><div><span face="Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif">In</span><span style="background-color: transparent;"> "</span><span face="Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif">25 Experts Explain What Choices Make A Marriage Actually Work Long-Term," you'll find suggestions for making your relationship be the best it can be. My recommendation is:</span></div></span><p></p><p><span face="Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">Always make new memories. Communicate, compromise and connect. </span></p><p><span face="Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">Talking and listening lead to essential compromise on the changes that inevitably occur as the years go by. </span></p><p><span face="Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">Connect by doing things together, creating new memories, and you keep things fresh!</span></p><p><span face="Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><a href="https://www.yourtango.com/love/experts-choices-long-term-marriage" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></span></p><p><br /></p><div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.4rem; line-height: 1.9rem; margin: 1.5rem auto 1rem; text-align: left; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><br /></div><p> </p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-22311491549819879142022-12-10T11:24:00.002-08:002022-12-10T11:24:25.964-08:00What Can You Do About Ageism? Play By Your Own Rules<p><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0s7FBxmXnT1_ilbrABYEwdJArIFBW-udclhJJXCIYsbKjnADyIKuwf3hA_HldSg-_viSzT63PXaAKp-dnZ76IQF3rpbdApSv4F1_01LDfgvNzC4Z-1Vwq53TLN9QewIbZIsSPn6CZPCsqodsx_Jh_K6aDiMKBSSVPqeWMHZT4kjkUIcgXYzD8Pr7n/s5472/vlad-sargu-ItphH2lGzuI-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="5472" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0s7FBxmXnT1_ilbrABYEwdJArIFBW-udclhJJXCIYsbKjnADyIKuwf3hA_HldSg-_viSzT63PXaAKp-dnZ76IQF3rpbdApSv4F1_01LDfgvNzC4Z-1Vwq53TLN9QewIbZIsSPn6CZPCsqodsx_Jh_K6aDiMKBSSVPqeWMHZT4kjkUIcgXYzD8Pr7n/s320/vlad-sargu-ItphH2lGzuI-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: whitesmoke; color: #111111; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Photo by </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/@vladsargu?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"><span style="background: whitesmoke; color: #767676; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Vlad Sargu</span></a><span style="background: whitesmoke; color: #111111; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/active-old-people?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"><span style="background: whitesmoke; color: #767676; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Unsplash</span></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b>Take charge and do things that create wellbeing regardless
of your age.</b><o:p></o:p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">While minding my own business, reading
a book review on-line, up pops an ad, “Finally, A Great Lipstick For The Mature
Woman.” Later, on a weather app, </span>“Trendy Dresses for Older Women.” <span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Google,
as always, was minding my business.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">It’s not just the internet pointing out
your age, it’s other people. From the physician telling you after a fall that
hiking is something to reconsider, to the endless griping about the </span><a href="https://www.salon.com/2022/06/18/no-elon-musk-america-isnt-a-gerontocracy-the-real-issue-is-massive-wealth-inequality/"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">gerontocracy</span></a><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">
in our government, people tell us we’re old and there’s stuff we just shouldn’t
be doing anymore. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">These rules about the dos and don’ts of
aging have effects. </span></b><a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0220857"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Ageism</span></a><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">
abounds and so does its negative impact on your health. It can literally
shorten your life.<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">If you believe the ageism messages
saying you can no longer do certain things and be a meaningful member of
society, it’s the </span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/being-your-best-self/202110/beware-your-self-fulfilling-prophecy">self-fulfilling</a>
prophecy<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> on steroids. </span>The self-fulfilling prophecy is the
idea that when you think something is going to happen, then it’s pretty easy to
alter your behavior to align with that belief—<i>Oh, I’m too old to learn a
language? No point trying to learn Italian</i>.<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">In fact, </span><a href="https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/10/adults-control-aging"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">research</span></a><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">
has shown that, </span>as we age, we tend to experience higher levels of
wellbeing, greater satisfaction with life and even more emotional stability. <span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/what-can-you-do-about-ageism-play-by-your-own-rules-7a06a56ebae1?source=friends_link&sk=09640c5ceaeb34363ef9b1db5585ad5b" target="_blank">Continue reading here..</a>.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><br /></i></p></div></div><p></p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-59485765871210808392022-07-31T12:44:00.000-07:002022-07-31T12:44:23.805-07:00Before Your Emotions Get The Best Of You, Take A Moment And Just Breathe<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtW94gC6pZClaQQnSpgmKOI8gf-wIlYgPgHaJQIQsjDLUk-1A4cy1HECNgu3R4CKj8jlTMlyO4jVAAY7aWT0JAhVDH0og7cp9WVGxJsWqy-PoLViIX-dKvt1oQby5DTkxRPImB1FjE9Zs94NrZQZxYSu31sTnT3GVrEjvU_O2gUsOBoIf8T4k7jtwW/s640/pexels-nipananlifestylecom-1581484.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="427" data-original-width="640" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtW94gC6pZClaQQnSpgmKOI8gf-wIlYgPgHaJQIQsjDLUk-1A4cy1HECNgu3R4CKj8jlTMlyO4jVAAY7aWT0JAhVDH0og7cp9WVGxJsWqy-PoLViIX-dKvt1oQby5DTkxRPImB1FjE9Zs94NrZQZxYSu31sTnT3GVrEjvU_O2gUsOBoIf8T4k7jtwW/s320/pexels-nipananlifestylecom-1581484.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p><p><span style="background: rgb(232, 232, 232); color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI", sans-serif;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="background: rgb(232, 232, 232); color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI", sans-serif;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="background: rgb(232, 232, 232); color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI", sans-serif;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="background: rgb(232, 232, 232); color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI", sans-serif;">Photo by </span><a href="https://www.pexels.com/@tomfisk?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels"><b><span style="background: rgb(232, 232, 232); font-family: "Segoe UI", sans-serif; text-decoration-line: none;">nipananlifestylecom</span></b></a><span style="background: rgb(232, 232, 232); color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI", sans-serif;"> from </span><a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/inner-yard-with-plants-and-yin-and-yang-symbol-5999543/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels"><b><span style="background: rgb(232, 232, 232); font-family: "Segoe UI", sans-serif; text-decoration-line: none;">Pexels</span></b></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Try a mindfulness strategy to improve self-control under stress.</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">You know <i>that person</i>, the one that always challenges
your self-control? It might be a colleague you see occasionally at meetings, a
friend of a friend, or a relative you only see at holidays. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">How about those difficult situations, like getting a late
charge because you forgot to pay a bill? Situations like that also tax our
self-control abilities. Yeah, like that unexpected tax bill.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Yet another precursor of self-control problems is cumulative
stress—you slept poorly, ate poorly, worked 12 hours straight and, just as
you’re getting ready to shut work down for the day, the message arrives from
your boss—<i>Aargh, you </i><i>are not
seriously asking me to do one more thing today, are you?</i><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i>That person</i> and those situations are why you need <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-mindfulness-helps-you-cope-with-stress/">mindfulness-based
coping</a> strategies.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">According to <a href="https://www.mindful.org/jon-kabat-zinn-defining-mindfulness/#:~:text=Mindfulness%20is%20awareness%20that%20arises,there's%20someone%20to%20take%20seriously">Jon
Kabat-Zin</a><span class="MsoHyperlink">,</span> “mindfulness is awareness that
arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment,
non-judgmentally.” Using mindful strategies in the face of stressors, like <i>that
person,</i> you can behave in a controlled, thoughtful manner. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">
</p><p class="MsoNormal">Having a mindful coping strategy, along with a couple of
basic steps to improve self-control, can slow the burn, avoid the meltdown and
help with a speedy recovery.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/6e4ae24c7fd5?source=friends_link&sk=730006e9b22cab38e9762b6868fd2b8a" target="_blank">Continue reading here...</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-36267512992701681902022-04-04T09:17:00.001-07:002022-04-04T09:18:20.801-07:00Want to Move Forward in your Life? Shift your Focus from ‘Why’ to ‘What Now’<p> <span style="color: windowtext;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Where
you decide to go next is far more important than how you got here.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: windowtext;"></span></p><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH3cHZtwX5NQBGyWv0xfNeLB8jI5TiI7dNgAKlwxwLj7lHvGk0fbAA2XP6lDXbnCZezRYkU2ySlQki1KcqJxPvAntJtwB_j4CPv36T8W-hS0oclkOG5I2p-1Ik0z__wRxWYI_kO4l_Vc8zo8Sy4V6B81rdrypH7h0ADB18PoF1qw0g4m0oTZXsGXPU/s689/pexels-magda-ehlers-4013304%20small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="689" data-original-width="380" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH3cHZtwX5NQBGyWv0xfNeLB8jI5TiI7dNgAKlwxwLj7lHvGk0fbAA2XP6lDXbnCZezRYkU2ySlQki1KcqJxPvAntJtwB_j4CPv36T8W-hS0oclkOG5I2p-1Ik0z__wRxWYI_kO4l_Vc8zo8Sy4V6B81rdrypH7h0ADB18PoF1qw0g4m0oTZXsGXPU/w110-h200/pexels-magda-ehlers-4013304%20small.jpg" width="110" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: #E8E8E8; color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI",sans-serif;">Photo by </span><a href="https://www.pexels.com/@magda-ehlers-pexels?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels"><span style="background: #E8E8E8; font-family: "Segoe UI",sans-serif;">Magda Ehlers</span></a><span style="background: #E8E8E8; color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI",sans-serif;"> from </span><a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/love-art-summer-sun-4013304/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels"><span style="background: #E8E8E8; font-family: "Segoe UI",sans-serif;">Pexels</span></a><strong><span style="background: #E8E8E8; color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><p class="graf"><span class="MsoHyperlink">There are innumerable issues that bring
people to therapy and coaching. Folks usually want to feel happier, more
confident, less angry, and the like. Before diving into making changes to
improve their situation, answers to the “why” questions are frequently </span>top
of mind<span class="MsoHyperlink">, as in:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Why do I get so angry with strangers</span></i></span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,
or<i> procrastinate on important projects</i>, or <i>turn a positive moment
into waiting for the other shoe to drop</i>?<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Much as I hate to admit it, those questions often can’t be
answered definitively, even after weeks, months and sometimes years of exploration.
How would we know if we did get the “right” answer to the source of your anger
issues, procrastination or worrying? <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A closely related set of “why” questions pertain to the
motivations of others. We can spend hours investigating why your wife cheated
on you, why your daughter drinks too much or why [your question here].<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The thing is, not much is certain when it comes to what
motivates us. For a variety of reasons, we can’t even answer the “why” </span></span><a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/10-things-you-dont-know-about-yourself/"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">question about ourselves</span></a><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
(e.g., <i>Why <b>did</b> I think it was a good idea to go to law school because
two years in I’m bored to death</i>?) much less about someone else. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Why, you ask (hahaha)? <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Consider
how you might answer a question about yourself now, vs how you answered it one
or two years ago, vs how you might answer it two years from now. As the </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/reality-play/201301/the-end-history-illusion"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">end-of-history illusion</span></a></span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> demonstrates, our
understanding changes over time, as do our narratives about our lives, even
though this is very difficult to imagine.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/want-to-move-forward-in-your-life-shift-your-focus-from-why-to-what-now-6dd4198b62b9?source=friends_link&sk=44ac03cfc64db8e4378b2d2162b8cda8" target="_blank">Continue reading here... </a></span></span></p><p><span style="color: windowtext;"></span></p><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p>
<span style="color: windowtext;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-18406281103662359722022-01-02T10:44:00.000-08:002022-01-02T10:44:15.260-08:00Need Some Hope in the New Year?<p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Anne
Lamott provides nuggets of hope for most of life’s most persistent worries.</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjhgIwvzyM23C3WyZhpMalq5lVsXaiVrsCn6PDhWYDsTr8cbbbMepZQlG2VSvN7YfkbgK6XV2rhQ56XHwv2B6P1-4AzBnV-eGygykabjjxfeVDnSh_AGeJngsISheeC2ZyENNOLKDLdYc6v4zJs6OPQE9WarPCJUHtYk1uBTznKX93Gf-elXsFlT9Ag=s320" style="font-style: italic; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="240" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjhgIwvzyM23C3WyZhpMalq5lVsXaiVrsCn6PDhWYDsTr8cbbbMepZQlG2VSvN7YfkbgK6XV2rhQ56XHwv2B6P1-4AzBnV-eGygykabjjxfeVDnSh_AGeJngsISheeC2ZyENNOLKDLdYc6v4zJs6OPQE9WarPCJUHtYk1uBTznKX93Gf-elXsFlT9Ag=w150-h200" width="150" /></a><i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39203790-almost-everything">Almost
Everything: Notes on Hope</a></i>, by Anne Lamott, is a truly enjoyable read, or
listen, which is how I experienced it. With her wry humor, wit and references
to so many things that matter, it is fun and inspiring. Whether on dieting,
sobriety, friendship or family, Lamott’s hopeful view shines through. There’s
nothing Pollyannaish about her take on life—it comes across as sincere and
authentic.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I may be prejudiced since she talks about issues I too have
spoken of, but not nearly as eloquently or delightfully as she does.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">A few examples so you can decide whether it’s worth the investment—or
just borrow it from your local library:<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">1. <span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Chapter 4 is just one sentence which simply
says:</span></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><i>Almost everything will work
again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal">You can see what I’ve had to say about self-care which
includes unplugging <a href="http://www.yourtango.com/experts/judith_tutin/how-stop-feeling-guilty-taking-care-yourself-self-care-enjoying-solitude">here</a>.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">2. <span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">In Chapter 5, “Don't Let Them Get You to Hate.
Them,” she relates wisdom from her pastor:</span></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i>When my pastor calls the most
difficult, annoying people in her life her grace-builders, I want to jump out
the window. I am so not there yet, but I understand what she’s talking about. </i></p>3. <span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Chapter 6 is about writing and in one of my
favs, she says:</span><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><i>If people wanted
you to write warmly about them, they should've
behaved better.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal">And so Karma goes.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">4. <span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Chapter 11 is all about food, dieting and the
like. Of course I would love the anecdote in which she mentioned to her therapist
she was going on a diet and the therapist says cheerfully:</span></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><i>Oh, that’s great honey, how much
weight are you hoping to gain? <o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Lamott goes on to say:<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i>No one talks to me that way. I
got rid of her sorry ass. Well okay, maybe not then. It was10 years later.</i><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Got to love a woman who can take the cold, hard truth from
her shrink.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">
</p><p class="MsoNormal">Happy New Year!<o:p></o:p></p><p></p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-80884169250065173472021-10-17T14:07:00.004-07:002021-10-17T14:07:00.236-07:00Eulogy For My Post-Divorce Cat<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPFYVjRn4yyWb5tbfhH3i2Z9wincBA7hHEvoN7Jq_ZK4HdEo2BeakZkwSmUhtECBWM9bQDHqt7M8_gbCUv-PKiUms_amsgGoQKLUFnsviOwM7PyPyLshu_Or9yNmGBdIliAW2b76M9XjU/s1459/Post-Divorce+Cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1459" data-original-width="1120" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPFYVjRn4yyWb5tbfhH3i2Z9wincBA7hHEvoN7Jq_ZK4HdEo2BeakZkwSmUhtECBWM9bQDHqt7M8_gbCUv-PKiUms_amsgGoQKLUFnsviOwM7PyPyLshu_Or9yNmGBdIliAW2b76M9XjU/s320/Post-Divorce+Cat.jpg" width="246" /></a></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><p style="font-weight: bold;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">The
loss of a pet yields a unique type of grief.</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">Some people’s, post-divorce acquisition is a home, other’s a
car, but since I got the house and did not need a new car, mine was a cat. It’s
a rite of passage for the newly single, perhaps the first time they have made a
major purchase solo. Or, as in my case, the first time in a long time.<b><o:p></o:p></b></p></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">The cat was not really a solo acquisition. It was my son and
me. It was the first big thing we did together post-divorce that was just the
two of us. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Eighteen and a half years ago we drove to a double-wide in a
slightly more rural area than ours, too close to the city to be country, but
too far and wild to be suburban. It felt like an adventure.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">She was a beautiful, tiny kitten billed as Siamese, which
the mother clearly was, the father clearly not. It was one of those situations
where, you’ve come this far, can you walk away kittenless? Of course not. I did
not point out that Eulogy For My Post-Divorce Cat<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">she was obviously only half Siamese. Truth be told, I was a
little afraid to question the sellers who didn’t look like they were too
interested in bargaining.<o:p></o:p></p><p>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Though this was to be a sweet, shared
experience, half-way home she peed on my son and he asked if we could take her
back. I said essentially that there was no way I was going back there and was
quite sure we were not getting our money back.</span></p><p><i><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/eulogy-for-my-post-divorce-cat-6a682ae3870f" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></i></p><p><br /></p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-60388476461033705222021-07-07T07:04:00.000-07:002021-07-07T07:04:33.895-07:00The Quest to Mindfully Engage with the Moment<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg62NfBba-w3xoS6r2W8zWc5Y4JJDYbjld57yClOmmp-aXfG9AZWFcRdWDlW7Z4NkM_kTKkdGMcUi1IxVte0uymMScYsHLupNe1se_TDa4BySVJQfxOQTG-nQt_6qCAP7rn2oYGXsykjvc/s2048/pexels-mikhail-nilov-6932446.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1366" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg62NfBba-w3xoS6r2W8zWc5Y4JJDYbjld57yClOmmp-aXfG9AZWFcRdWDlW7Z4NkM_kTKkdGMcUi1IxVte0uymMScYsHLupNe1se_TDa4BySVJQfxOQTG-nQt_6qCAP7rn2oYGXsykjvc/s320/pexels-mikhail-nilov-6932446.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b>Learning to let go of each moment in order to be fully
present in this moment is key to mindfulness.</b><o:p></o:p></p><p> Being present in the moment is a mindfulness essential. Unless
you've willfully ignored 15 years of health and wellness articles, you know
that research shows that <a href="https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/meditation-in-depth">mindfulness
meditation improves health</a> and <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/mindfulness/meditation">wellbeing</a> in a
variety of ways (e.g., it reduces anxiety, depression and blood pressure). The
jury is in: Cultivating mindfulness makes a lot of sense.</p><p class="graf"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To be in this moment, you must release all those moments
that came before. This idea of letting go of each moment before the present
moment, which, by the way, is now past, is one of those persnickety meditation
conundrums. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">How do you let go of those moments? While it's easy to let
go of a neutral moment, perhaps a thought about what you want to have for
dinner, you must also let go of positive moments. That's not to say that you
should not savor your successes—you absolutely must. But not when you're trying
to focus on the present. Wins are a lot easier to release.<o:p></o:p></p>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">The most challenging to
release are those moments with a negative tone. Maybe it's a memory of why you
chose one path instead of another, or something as small as why you said one
thing instead of another. Our mistakes, missteps and other misses tend to be
very sticky. We seem to have a paradoxical need to hang onto them.</span><div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/the-quest-to-mindfully-engage-with-the-moment-818a12ac1a96" target="_blank">Continue reading here... </a></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-66997648093284214462021-06-02T16:49:00.000-07:002021-06-02T16:49:12.706-07:00Coping with Anxiety is Not One Size Fits All<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVFpcn7Tm1LO1y60EpN4U2TzbmhiFrmyo3HejFVmMvgN0Uyq4-rkQ81y9mSorVHJtq9zONPganmMbDPX36up00Pmdl20JsCNZj3zlOdxp06fc5xDf-6um6bQMypbDuseTQD52X3QfGoLg/s640/pexels-tom-fisk-5999543.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="425" data-original-width="640" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVFpcn7Tm1LO1y60EpN4U2TzbmhiFrmyo3HejFVmMvgN0Uyq4-rkQ81y9mSorVHJtq9zONPganmMbDPX36up00Pmdl20JsCNZj3zlOdxp06fc5xDf-6um6bQMypbDuseTQD52X3QfGoLg/w320-h213/pexels-tom-fisk-5999543.jpg" title="Photo by Tom Fisk from Pexels" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Whether your anxiety predates the pandemic or not, the
solution is unique to you.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: #E8E8E8; color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI",sans-serif;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: #E8E8E8; color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI",sans-serif;">Photo by </span><a href="https://www.pexels.com/@tomfisk?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels"><b><span style="background: rgb(232, 232, 232); font-family: "Segoe UI", sans-serif; text-decoration-line: none;">Tom Fisk</span></b></a><span style="background: #E8E8E8; color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI",sans-serif;"> from </span><a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/inner-yard-with-plants-and-yin-and-yang-symbol-5999543/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels"><b><span style="background: rgb(232, 232, 232); font-family: "Segoe UI", sans-serif; text-decoration-line: none;">Pexels</span></b></a><strong><span style="background: #E8E8E8; color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "Segoe UI",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal">During the pandemic I learned I am an ambivert. It was the <a href="https://wordsmith.org/words/ambivert.html">A.Word.A.Day</a>, word of the day one day and it fits. Neither introvert nor extravert, ambiverts, according <a href="https://wordsmith.org/anu/">Anu Garg</a>, have qualities of both.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">It brings to mind something I’ve been pondering during this pandemic—the notion that one size does not fit all, whether in clothing or people. Be it those one-size-fits-all running hats, how introverted you are, how you cope
with your anxiety or how you grieve a loss, we are all different and we need
and want different things.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">My head is simply too small for those alleged
one-size-fits-all hats. I am, as I mentioned, neither intro- nor extravert—it
depends on the situation and my mood. I like to run to reduce anxiety, a passion
not everyone can relate to for coping. I grieve quietly, privately, unobtrusively,
and can still feel the pain years later as it if were yesterday, clearly not a
mode of grieving that works for everyone. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Back to the pandemic, some of my clients and friends have
been more anxious during the past year. Some previously quite anxious are,
oddly, less anxious—the true introverts, I suspect. They do not mind working
remotely, the absence of dinners out with friends or not having parties to
attend.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/coping-with-anxiety-is-not-one-size-fits-all-33cecfb486d8" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p>
</p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-63700522498995963912021-05-17T16:11:00.000-07:002021-05-17T16:11:14.692-07:00How Many Therapists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7NUbtMyYvZ2xFpktz_GNGseD6jmIOgQ-CX-03m-ftJfUUKQ2nnxWmjEaO5e3_JDytdza3vgtOuV_8SgjTir-AbA5NPD2CKWFOcQXygHyl8tWCgbPcw_QUDCb69c8LFnresqlelV3BGLk/s2048/Yoga+frogs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7NUbtMyYvZ2xFpktz_GNGseD6jmIOgQ-CX-03m-ftJfUUKQ2nnxWmjEaO5e3_JDytdza3vgtOuV_8SgjTir-AbA5NPD2CKWFOcQXygHyl8tWCgbPcw_QUDCb69c8LFnresqlelV3BGLk/s320/Yoga+frogs.jpg" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One—it takes one therapist to change a lightbulb. But
it really has to want to change.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In these trying times, when we’re all trying to
control anxiety and depression about the state of the world, learning to change
how you react is a process. My yoga practice helps keep me grounded in how to
learn, something we adults often lose sight of.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When you embark on a yoga practice like <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashtanga_vinyasa_yoga">Ashtanga</a>, you
must have an intention to master the poses, breath and flow. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Fully committing to the practice is essential for
progress. It’s not that it has to be done daily. It’s more that you practice on
some type of regular basis with the goal of being all in. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Experimentation is required. Does it work better this
way, or that way? <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s not about comparing yourself to others. It’s
about comparing yourself to yourself. <i>Wow! I couldn’t do this when I started</i>.
<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You don’t want to phone it in. Even if it’s a crappy
day and you can’t do half of what you did just two days ago. You want to be
present and mindful.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">These principles of learning (intention to achieve mastery,
commitment to regular practice, willingness to experiment, being fully present
and mindful) relate to a lot of things in life. I think they relate directly to
the process of change. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you want to change your reactions to
anxiety-provoking or depressing situations, you must follow these principles as
you would to learn anything. And, of course, you really have to want to change.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p>
</p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-87715725839371988732021-05-12T16:25:00.000-07:002021-05-12T16:25:07.852-07:00Am I Allowed to Have Post-Pandemic Complaints?<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><p><br /></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyi8XQHpwgO9D4XdQd1qn_AfS_o_kQCO24AwOjT_hXFKVvXXVSQJGTmqWUKf37du-Hx4d88EvhyphenhyphenQFEKDhMdbzVzL8VXz4DCtUqOqaHsJ9BDimRiYT_4hIciIKbWO8K3x-tAqjGIaaz01E/s2048/J+Tutin+Gardens+Flowers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyi8XQHpwgO9D4XdQd1qn_AfS_o_kQCO24AwOjT_hXFKVvXXVSQJGTmqWUKf37du-Hx4d88EvhyphenhyphenQFEKDhMdbzVzL8VXz4DCtUqOqaHsJ9BDimRiYT_4hIciIKbWO8K3x-tAqjGIaaz01E/s320/J+Tutin+Gardens+Flowers.jpg" /></a></div></blockquote></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: times;"> Because I have not experienced the bone-crushing losses due
to COVID that many have, I hate to complain about how it will be post-pandemic.
Nevertheless, as we are possibly just emerging from the thick of it, I'm going
to give myself the grace I've been telling others to give themselves and go
ahead and complain.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Last week we went to Gibbs Gardens, a lovely, wooded spot in
Ball Ground, Georgia—no, I'm not kidding about that name. You can see from my
photos that it is indeed a beautiful place.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">The day was intentionally selected to avoid crowds. And it
was not crowded. I shudder to think about what it's like on the weekend with
more people, more kids, more noise. I'm sure it's still amazing, just not as
amazing. Especially these days.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">There were singles, couples and small groups of people. You
know how you tend to stop and cluster together to talk when you're with a bunch
of people? Well, that happened. As I'm approaching one of these groups I'm
starting to wonder, do I need to put my mask on?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: times;">Were I not vaccinated this could be one of those <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/22/well/live/covid-masks-outdoors.html">two
out of three situations</a> ((1) outdoors and (2) distanced, but not (3) masked,
since said group was unmasked) in which you don't need a mask. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"> <i><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/am-i-allowed-to-have-post-pandemic-complaints-c208552152ab" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></i></span></p><p><br /></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p></p><p></p></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-7570718933759452182020-12-31T13:25:00.001-08:002020-12-31T13:25:43.069-08:00Bring Your COVID-19 Coping Skills Forward Into The New Year<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvpFaWlmEUJotU8FQ-9ZBLHobcUJBEmvOfNGvlUocoxpqIsnHAZPZJrFBd0KtocAYVuNGUy5og_rSq4Q1cXaRlT_b3ODmtL8EzF8tmOJgHibydkuN71RqbsfITCTHrJAuHiNW8wRjSdgQ/s640/gary-meulemans-3xVH3E3xJ48-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="427" data-original-width="640" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvpFaWlmEUJotU8FQ-9ZBLHobcUJBEmvOfNGvlUocoxpqIsnHAZPZJrFBd0KtocAYVuNGUy5og_rSq4Q1cXaRlT_b3ODmtL8EzF8tmOJgHibydkuN71RqbsfITCTHrJAuHiNW8wRjSdgQ/w279-h214/gary-meulemans-3xVH3E3xJ48-unsplash.jpg" width="279" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal">There’s considerable research in psychology to suggest that <a href="https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/06/covid-life-after">after a trauma we can
come back stronger</a> than before. We can become more resilient. Tragedy can
trigger the development of new coping skills. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This is the case with the coronavirus pandemic. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now is the time to notice any positive habits you've
developed and decide to keep them moving into 2021. No one expects the virus to
vanish on January 1<sup>st</sup>, but we're edging closer, so deciding on your
intentions post-virus can help you maintain those healthy routines.<b><o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Here are some examples:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>People are exercising and getting outside more. </b>A
combination of not having much to do and wanting to get out of the house yielded
a huge crop of new walkers, runners and cyclists. Like seesaw dieters, it could
be a situation where once things return to their new normal, the newly fit
ditch their new habits. This need not be the case. Once you have established
the habit, you simply need to recognize that, as life changes, you may have to
tweak the schedule or location. Remember, the habit change made you feel better.
In the future, with no pandemic, it is still likely to make you feel better.<o:p></o:p></p><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/bring-your-covid-19-coping-skills-forward-into-the-new-year-77068f08c903" target="_blank">Read more here...</a><p></p><p><br /></p>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-41857756966035270912020-10-29T17:07:00.019-07:002020-10-31T13:59:59.082-07:00'Hamilton' Has Become the Score of My Global Pandemic<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdR9DFw23EeUANW5dMz52ERerPzI8p6Oz-3cj_35g0mPtTIT8_sCKbk0ON8J0oL62SfclJuXX_PKLwP7qpi5Dg9ev3TinwrjIUbCGD4bJ1UPi9mSzGqDq5XC4ZQkjCLF5QPxjVNbrV2dM/s2048/sudan-ouyang-UQuka_ruWxQ-unsplash+%25281%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdR9DFw23EeUANW5dMz52ERerPzI8p6Oz-3cj_35g0mPtTIT8_sCKbk0ON8J0oL62SfclJuXX_PKLwP7qpi5Dg9ev3TinwrjIUbCGD4bJ1UPi9mSzGqDq5XC4ZQkjCLF5QPxjVNbrV2dM/s320/sudan-ouyang-UQuka_ruWxQ-unsplash+%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background: whitesmoke; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Photo
by Sudan Ouyang</span><span face=""Helvetica",sans-serif" style="background: whitesmoke; color: #111111; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 107%;"> on </span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background: whitesmoke; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Unsplash</span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">The pandemic thus far has dealt me one unexpected disappointment: the postponement of <i>Hamilton</i> in Atlanta. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="graf">Live performance is something we often experience as uplifting and renewing. Another balm unavailable to us during the COVID crisis.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">In no way am I suggesting that this is a big deal. I have mercifully been spared a variety of painful decisions, tragedies and heartbreaks, but the musical has become a touchstone for me.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"> The proverbial opportunity to turn lemons into lemonade appeared when I was able to watch <i>Hamilton</i>, with millions of others, as Disney started streaming the original cast production. It was a remarkable opportunity to see an amazing ensemble and the play itself is simply mesmerizing.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Since my month of streaming had not yet expired, I started listening to it while cleaning my house. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 17.12px; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">I'd have to say, and being a clinical psychologist, I’m qualified to say, things started to get a little obsessive. As you might guess, paying someone to clean my house means I really don't like cleaning. Nevertheless, I've lately been looking forward to cleaning because it's become my <i>Hamilton</i> time. </span></span></p><div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">I sing along, even though I've been told I should stick to my day job. I dance; no one has to tell me to stick to my day job. I'm tempted to bound into rooms at the end of my workday belting out,</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><i style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">So what've I missed</i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">?, as if I'm Jefferson returning from Paris. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 17.12px; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia;"></span></p><div><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://judithtutin.medium.com/hamilton-has-become-the-score-of-my-global-pandemic-20b60508d039" target="_blank">Read the rest here...</a></span></div>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-56007832954247104042020-03-22T15:56:00.001-07:002020-03-22T15:56:46.280-07:00How To Keep Calm And Carry On Despite COVID-19 Concerns<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjovXNpajMMMLmyPWyxpO5LbX8YoMA87ospbnCsR7wxZHoJ8VJIxrRw6XzphNwbdFowhgeZJmGHz7Drx2lKCQaUGKOCumCg36KBox8NlcYDwpJ8rrLkylXZ8kNJFqQFRF3Flm3d8w5e8gs/s1600/Yogini.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="282" data-original-width="425" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjovXNpajMMMLmyPWyxpO5LbX8YoMA87ospbnCsR7wxZHoJ8VJIxrRw6XzphNwbdFowhgeZJmGHz7Drx2lKCQaUGKOCumCg36KBox8NlcYDwpJ8rrLkylXZ8kNJFqQFRF3Flm3d8w5e8gs/s200/Yogini.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the (many) atypical things about COVID-19, is that
the people helping you cope are experiencing and coping with the same thing, at
the same time. Whatever your profession, you’re probably also a parent, partner,
adult child or friend, and, as we try to help others through this pandemic, we
are also trying to help ourselves. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even as we recognize that everyone has their own specific
large and small crises, we can still have a great deal of understanding and empathy,
by virtue of being in the same boat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whether you have to separate your child from their
grandparents, be mindful of your, or someone else’s, compromised immune system,
or console your high school grad who will be missing experiences they’ve
anticipated for years, there’s still a lot of common ground.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>There are some things we must all figure out in order to
cope. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>How do we manage (a lot of) unstructured time?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Due to a meeting cancelled at the eleventh hour, I had an
entire day completely free. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Normally a dream for a busy person, it felt a little more
like a nightmare because of the circumstances. It wasn’t like I decided to take
a little staycation. It was last minute, so I didn’t have a plan. It was out of
my control. Routine was lacking. Hence, it felt more like a worry than a wow.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/judith_tutin/how-keep-calm-and-carry-despite-covid-19-concerns" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-60678667526509636372020-03-13T07:53:00.000-07:002020-03-13T07:53:25.889-07:00 Why It’s Healthy To Feel Your Negative Emotions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgInx4uqjKndcPGKbW9q3BjX667A1lmXXoPFOrcloO9wvONsZTFGv7o640oevTECOW0T3930JnbZeg14mQ3GX9huiTV2qzDn4wqsvTCKooI7eUFqSS7fYynDDoChHGcTm4ztB7RZdosTRM/s1600/iStock_000005318840XSmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="285" data-original-width="421" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgInx4uqjKndcPGKbW9q3BjX667A1lmXXoPFOrcloO9wvONsZTFGv7o640oevTECOW0T3930JnbZeg14mQ3GX9huiTV2qzDn4wqsvTCKooI7eUFqSS7fYynDDoChHGcTm4ztB7RZdosTRM/s200/iStock_000005318840XSmall.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17.25px; letter-spacing: 0.3px;">We call it toxic positivity because sometimes experiencing negative emotions can be healthy. My take:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17.25px; letter-spacing: 0.3px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17.25px; letter-spacing: 0.3px;"><i>“'Toxic positivity"keeps you from embracing the discomfort of negative emotions. But consider that you must welcome the fear, pain, and anxiety of a challenge to run your first marathon, return to school after a hiatus, go on your first meditation retreat, or try your first post-break-up date. Allowing the negative feelings in opens you up to new, enriching experiences. Pursue something a little scary — this is the true road to happiness."</i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17.25px; letter-spacing: 0.3px;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17.25px; letter-spacing: 0.3px;"><a href="https://www.yourtango.com/2019328576/why-positive-good-vibes-only-is-toxic-positivity-how-feeling-negative-emotions-is-healthy" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-33947150021908222372020-01-30T15:32:00.000-08:002020-01-30T15:32:52.304-08:003 Simple Hacks To Help You Lose Weight, Get Fit And Maintain A Healthy Lifestyle<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyhmr_7afBa67fyH5lA3iGtTTFkQIydIzi1AtJ8uQm5IM1_fjzZgehKnXbCUTHmDPFEAbEfUm30EfsdyZbgeqTp4SE8pF1Vwk7oQl2B_z_sUgI3cpcQibBrnjbnnxXcqG_JxPmnoOfuVA/s1600/TLCs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="282" data-original-width="425" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyhmr_7afBa67fyH5lA3iGtTTFkQIydIzi1AtJ8uQm5IM1_fjzZgehKnXbCUTHmDPFEAbEfUm30EfsdyZbgeqTp4SE8pF1Vwk7oQl2B_z_sUgI3cpcQibBrnjbnnxXcqG_JxPmnoOfuVA/s200/TLCs.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Is your freezer filled with meals from that expensive
diet you abandoned a year ago? Maybe you saw the perfect piece of exercise
equipment in an infomercial, spent a small fortune, and now it languishes in
your spare room. Perhaps it’s the fitness tracker that tells you what you no
longer want to know about your sleep, diet and exercise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Those items are wonderful if you use them as part of your
bigger plan to get and stay healthy in mind, body and spirit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It’s not the diet or equipment that gets you to your
fitness goals, it’s the determination and intention to be in it for the
long-haul. That, and a few simple things to keep in mind to avoid the fads and
the flops:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></b><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><b>Beware of fads.</b> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">If it sounds too good
to be true, it is</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">. Consider the claims made about that Clear Quartz in your water bottle.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/judith_tutin/how-to-lose-weight-get-fit-live-healthy-lifestyle" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></div>
<br />
<br />Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-45286945743804803542019-09-08T13:32:00.000-07:002019-09-08T13:32:01.138-07:008 Ways To Figure Out If Your Partner Is 'The One' Based On Marie Kondo's 'KonMari' Method<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8d4s1WEmp0uM4cnII5ArPASC4lZjfYYSltwOoDbM0AnYlDif1lg_YCD2R_ReVp5HozOXG1SZAZf0FB9rWpFu34upQhAKAxJ57gOgZuMKD4Ll974Gjng8Ht_X4_N3QO24hD-vbEb_6wk8/s1600/Couple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="282" data-original-width="425" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8d4s1WEmp0uM4cnII5ArPASC4lZjfYYSltwOoDbM0AnYlDif1lg_YCD2R_ReVp5HozOXG1SZAZf0FB9rWpFu34upQhAKAxJ57gOgZuMKD4Ll974Gjng8Ht_X4_N3QO24hD-vbEb_6wk8/s200/Couple.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.4px; letter-spacing: 0.32px;">If you're a Marie Kondo fan, then you know her KonMari method for decluttering your life is amazing and starts with a simple question: "Does this spark joy?"</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1.15rem !important; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-break: break-word; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.15rem; letter-spacing: 0.02rem;">But the Marie Kondo method for how to declutter is amazing when
applied to other areas of your life too, like love and relationships. Yes,
there is a way to use KonMari to declutter your mind and reorganize your
thoughts when it comes down to finding out if your partner is really "the
one."</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1.15rem !important; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-break: break-word; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.15rem; letter-spacing: 0.32px;">"Does it spark joy?" might also be the perfect relationship question. Can you look at your partner — the person you fell in love with — and answer yes when asking yourself, </span><em style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.15rem; letter-spacing: 0.32px;">“Does he spark joy?” </em></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1.15rem !important; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-break: break-word; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.15rem; letter-spacing: 0.32px;"><a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/judith_tutin/is-he-the-one-determining-should-break-up-using-marie-kondo-konmari-method" target="_blank"><i>Read more here</i></a> to see how her method can be used to explore your relationship.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1.15rem !important; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-break: break-word; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1.15rem !important; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-break: break-word; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-76648498190351035362019-08-26T12:23:00.000-07:002019-08-26T12:23:11.120-07:00Life Coach Notes, Summer 2019<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrSRvGtVz_0fSBnLv1OSKb_MR-DVUlDukDZGh8U5bUJHZ4pu33GI7cUeLY-1NGQINVbXeUQp7BhZMmZBpBqYaewci3oprpKsUJS7zQ58d0iOHNfH0SBfpwbWeNOKE8PlbozHutK1kW8CU/s1600/NewsletterTrees.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="424" data-original-width="283" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrSRvGtVz_0fSBnLv1OSKb_MR-DVUlDukDZGh8U5bUJHZ4pu33GI7cUeLY-1NGQINVbXeUQp7BhZMmZBpBqYaewci3oprpKsUJS7zQ58d0iOHNfH0SBfpwbWeNOKE8PlbozHutK1kW8CU/s200/NewsletterTrees.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://conta.cc/2zn149l">Click here</a> to see my Summer, 2019
Newsletter, with my recent articles about health and wellness, relationships
and making meaningful changes in your life. <a href="https://conta.cc/2zn149l" target="_blank">Read it here.</a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br /><br />
<br />Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-63552269343413119912019-04-11T16:23:00.000-07:002019-04-11T16:23:04.152-07:007 Reasons Everyone Keeps Telling You To Meditate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNW2Zwc7jfsdB8E133lyG4dxMI7G7bk1WhCt3mHpu6g2isqf4awcoT3-GBcnYJpshRh2pp08EZIel5-tlS_tMrSY0WakINoopoKpncF42dmGCHtwSWuI-uken2JulS7fory5WPg_pVXn0/s1600/LovingKindnessMeditation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="282" data-original-width="425" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNW2Zwc7jfsdB8E133lyG4dxMI7G7bk1WhCt3mHpu6g2isqf4awcoT3-GBcnYJpshRh2pp08EZIel5-tlS_tMrSY0WakINoopoKpncF42dmGCHtwSWuI-uken2JulS7fory5WPg_pVXn0/s320/LovingKindnessMeditation.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="Body">
I bet you know people who meditate. They’re often hawking the
benefits of meditation, right?</div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
Annoying as it is, they’re correct. </div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
There is a
wealth of research showing the <a href="https://nccih.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm">benefits of meditation</a>.
These benefits include greater happiness, an improved sense of well-being,
better emotional control, more compassion for, and better relationships with,
others, less depression and anxiety, improved focus and even less inflammation
in the body. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
Though you may understand the benefits of meditation, when you
imagine yourself in the perfect meditation space…you’re sitting on a cushion,
the temperature is just right, there’s a slight scent of lavender in the air,
it’s silent except for the tweet of a bird outside…you know you are never going
to find that in this lifetime.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
You’re busy, it’s noisy everyplace, and there may be a smell in
the air, but it’s more likely to be car exhaust or pet effluvia, than lavender.
When it comes to meditation, that’s okay!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/judith_tutin/7-reasons-everyone-keeps-telling-you-meditate" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<br />Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-81249388105139609392019-01-03T13:57:00.000-08:002019-01-03T13:57:56.974-08:00What To Do About The Agony Of ‘Adulting’ (At Any Age)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEird4habUwfS1p6SRP-uE1Ij0-fi4Nq-ZnvAmQhUuPJOVkYOn-Zn7rn5nBfpntJRp-steT9RMgpdpIi-mTPl2kLVMQhXcZkqKGuW30OSClFgsT3jY8E5-DZX4p8uzhwmJGnh7Rt2DSPANs/s1600/Lips.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="293" data-original-width="410" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEird4habUwfS1p6SRP-uE1Ij0-fi4Nq-ZnvAmQhUuPJOVkYOn-Zn7rn5nBfpntJRp-steT9RMgpdpIi-mTPl2kLVMQhXcZkqKGuW30OSClFgsT3jY8E5-DZX4p8uzhwmJGnh7Rt2DSPANs/s200/Lips.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been hearing about “adulting” from many of my clients, as
in, “I spent all morning at the bank, getting the car washed, and taking my
mother’s emotional support animal to the vet…#adulting.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I saw the headline in my Sunday paper, “Learning to
‘Adult,” I realized “adulting” wasn’t just a passing linguistic hiccup. One of the
local colleges is running a series of talks called “#Adulting.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/news/a58946/stop-adulting/">Some
have complained</a></span> about the term. They find it sexist, which hardly
seems apt, since men use it too. They find it gross, but I find it ironically
self-reflective. Like making blonde jokes when you’re blonde, it shows you
don’t take yourself too seriously. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/judith_tutin/what-do-about-agony-%E2%80%98adulting%E2%80%99-any-age" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-6922942404093325342018-11-12T10:17:00.000-08:002018-11-12T10:18:24.659-08:005 Ways The Narcissist In Your Life Turns Himself Into A Victim<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjT8KJ7aR4bJlg37fuhEZwBiv8OZ2z-2oTFpetvQdhVn5ofyRHe_h9B_uD4JzfaR5U9sEuHQA-L_ile9v0VEiXwZ8uFpg_CSsWoVyw7X6Vn0hPDKJ28We5IAZNJeiGmWN3ZRW9X0Yclo0/s1600/Heartbreaker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="424" data-original-width="283" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjT8KJ7aR4bJlg37fuhEZwBiv8OZ2z-2oTFpetvQdhVn5ofyRHe_h9B_uD4JzfaR5U9sEuHQA-L_ile9v0VEiXwZ8uFpg_CSsWoVyw7X6Vn0hPDKJ28We5IAZNJeiGmWN3ZRW9X0Yclo0/s200/Heartbreaker.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; line-height: 1.75; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; word-break: break-word;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When a man is a narcissist, he'll do anything to come
out on top. Even if it means willingly playing the victim by using a defensive
manipulation technique called "DARVO" — something <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/brett-kavanaugh-testimony-plays-victim-senate-hearing_us_5bad3b5ae4b0b4d308d1310b" target="_blank">Brett Kavanaugh recently did</a> during his Senate Judiciary Committee hearing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>What is DARVO?<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html" target="_blank">Jennifer J. Freyd, PhD</a>, a professor of psychology at
the University of Oregon, coined this acronym to describe one typical
"reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, particularly sexual offenders, may
display in response to being held accountable for their behavior."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"DARVO," she explains, "stands for
"Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender," the pattern through
which an abuser seamlessly shifts focus away from their own behavior to that of
their accuser.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/judith_tutin/5-ways-spot-when-narcissist-ues-darvo-make-himself-the-victim-in-relationships" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-40613534711853305072018-09-24T13:01:00.000-07:002018-09-24T13:01:36.799-07:0010 Ways To More Effectively Harness The Inspiring Energy Of Your Favorite Self-Help Books<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWQS00wJWhDE3epHk-GeonwHjahY14BUkmfjTV6Y3rR-2BQ4z8mO5Dyer3qVL-pyalZEn3glppmbfi5tm8NOeNw0X1RQdCm9KZqj7eLnSKdgW2IQYXeOpkB4IYEldv86bsIe1UNMfRGuk/s1600/WriteYourStory.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="283" data-original-width="424" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWQS00wJWhDE3epHk-GeonwHjahY14BUkmfjTV6Y3rR-2BQ4z8mO5Dyer3qVL-pyalZEn3glppmbfi5tm8NOeNw0X1RQdCm9KZqj7eLnSKdgW2IQYXeOpkB4IYEldv86bsIe1UNMfRGuk/s200/WriteYourStory.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You’re psyched. You scoured the latest self-help books and
found the perfect one for you, one with a title along the lines of <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Six Simple Steps to Your Perfect Body</em>, complete
with a companion diary outlining each of the six steps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-break: break-word; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or perhaps the title is more like <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Change
Your Attitude, Change Your Relationships</em>, partnered with an accompanying
workbook.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-break: break-word; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or perhaps your passion this week led you to a book like <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">The Idiot's Guide to Finding the Perfect Job</em>,
with a pocket manual for creating a career that will bring you joy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You’re like the 78% of people between the ages of 18-70 who <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201801/change-artists?collection=1109839" style="box-shadow: rgba(71, 137, 200, 0.4) 0px -3px 0px inset; box-sizing: border-box;" target="_blank"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; color: windowtext; padding: 0in;">"say they want to change a
fundamental aspect of themselves"</span></a>, and so you're reading a
chapter a day in your eagerness to progress toward your goals for personal
growth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="box-sizing: border-box; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; word-break: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The books are right there on
your bedside table so you won't forget to visit them daily.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="box-sizing: border-box; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; word-break: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And yet, you’re not losing
weight, your attitude hasn't changed, and you still have no idea how to find
your dream job.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="box-sizing: border-box; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; word-break: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/judith_tutin/10-best-tips-for-achieving-personal-growth-goals-when-reading-self-help-books" target="_blank">Read more...</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="box-sizing: border-box; letter-spacing: 0.02rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 1rem; word-break: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322477675949418385.post-62195964821605442312018-09-16T12:36:00.000-07:002018-09-16T12:36:01.922-07:00This Personality Test Reveals If Being 'Nice' Is Your Greatest Strength Or Weakness In Relationships<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEird4habUwfS1p6SRP-uE1Ij0-fi4Nq-ZnvAmQhUuPJOVkYOn-Zn7rn5nBfpntJRp-steT9RMgpdpIi-mTPl2kLVMQhXcZkqKGuW30OSClFgsT3jY8E5-DZX4p8uzhwmJGnh7Rt2DSPANs/s1600/Lips.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="293" data-original-width="410" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEird4habUwfS1p6SRP-uE1Ij0-fi4Nq-ZnvAmQhUuPJOVkYOn-Zn7rn5nBfpntJRp-steT9RMgpdpIi-mTPl2kLVMQhXcZkqKGuW30OSClFgsT3jY8E5-DZX4p8uzhwmJGnh7Rt2DSPANs/s200/Lips.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you're the kind of the person who's always being accused of being
"too nice", a simple personality test can let you know whether or not
what they're telling you is the truth. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<div style="background: white;">
After all, we all know someone who's quick to
forgive and who only responds with kindness when they're on the receiving end
of bad behavior. When someone drops the ball, that person is there picking up
the slack. When someone says something insensitive, they go above and beyond to
be understanding of that person's intent.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white;">
After all, we all know someone who's quick to
forgive and who only responds with kindness when they're on the receiving end
of bad behavior. When someone drops the ball, that person is there picking up
the slack. When someone says something insensitive, they go above and beyond to
be understanding of that person's intent.</div>
<div style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/judith_tutin/personality-test-reveals-if-being-too-nice-your-greatest-personal-strengths-weaknesses" target="_blank">Continue reading here...</a></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">
<iframe data-integralas-id-b6f9a1b4-cafe-31dd-abfb-a20e6b13eea7="" data-load-complete="true" frameborder="0" height="600" id="google_ads_iframe_/1020897/article-box-350_0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" name="google_ads_iframe_/1020897/article-box-350_0" scrolling="no" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: block; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; max-width: 100%; vertical-align: bottom;" title="3rd party ad content" width="300">
</iframe></span>Judith Tutinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07817591846731504355noreply@blogger.com0