Monday, June 14, 2010

Cell Phone Etiquette for Parents

A friend of mine, Michelle Cimino, is doing some special offers to promote her book, Cell Phone Etiquette, Observations from a Mom.

Just when you think you know everything, or at least all you need to know, about cell phones and texting, there’s more. Cell phone jammers, for example. Cell phone bans in the NYC schools. And more.

While Michelle has the obvious don’ts, like not texting in restaurants, in meetings, etc., she also goes beyond. How about, Do not text while I’m talking to you… perfect.

My favorite is Michelle’s great list of acronyms and other shorthands, like:

IDK (I don’t care) - I get this a lot from my textor

P911 Parent alert

The book also covers the good uses of cell phones…I’m in the store, do you want this shirt or that one?

And general cool uses to connect with your kids either by speaking their language (texting of course) to KIP (keep in touch) and using code to communicate.

And Michelle’s best advice, no naked photos.

Just click on this link with your Amazon purchase number and she’ll send you the info about free e-books, free coaching calls, recorded trainings, interviews, discounts on services, and other promotions she’s offering.


Sunday, June 6, 2010

Writing your Goals

I like this book about achieving your goals, Write it Down, Make it Happen, by Henriette Anne Klauser. It’s filled with clever anecdotes. I particularly like the one about Jim Carrey. Before we knew Jim Carrey, he wrote a check to himself for 10 million dollars “For Services Rendered,” which he carried around for years.

I have to be honest though, it’s not based on research. But there is a great deal of research on goal setting, writing down goals, commitment to goals, and the like. We know that goals encourage persistence, energize and direct us toward getting the information and skills we need to reach them. We know that goals direct our attention toward the goal and away from irrelevant pursuits.

Here’s where writing it down comes in.  When I write down my goal, things happen as a result. For example, I write down, I have 10 new coaching clients in the next 8 weeks. Writing it down doesn’t magically make anything happen. But consider what could happen. You’re reading this. Perhaps you think, oh, she wants clients. Is she any good? Maybe you’ll get in touch and get that free coaching call. If I look at what I’ve written, daily perhaps, then any time I have an opportunity to make a coaching contact, you bet it’s going to be at the top of my mind. We call it priming. The same way priming a wall gets it ready to be painted, priming our minds gets them ready to be open to a particular idea. My writing will probably be affected by looking at my goal in the morning. As a result, I’m more likely to mention coaching when I write. And so forth.

If you can think the goal through without writing it down, more power to you. Some evidence suggests that it’s not the writing but the complexity of the goal, your commitment and the SMARTness of it. We know that public commitment to goals helps us honor them. And possibly there is something to the present tense (I have 10 new clients, rather than I will have).

So consider your goals. Perhaps write them down or at least take time to elaborate them and consider the goals on a regular basis, getting more detailed about what you want and how you’re going to go about getting it. Maybe take another step and check out Klauser’s book.  Oh, and consider that free coaching call you can get by contacting me...coaching holds you accountable for meeting your best possible future goals!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Mindful Parenting

I'm aspiring to be more mindful every day.  I’ve written about mindfulness in general. I’ve just focused on mindful parenting. I’m anticipating the reactions.

You make it sound so easy. To which I reply, I don’t mean to. It’s called a mindfulness practice. Which is no accident and not a misnomer. You have to really practice things like being, non-judging and letting go, in addition to the other skills. Some will come more easily to you than others.

But what about getting my kids to do the right thing? Good luck with that. Mindful parenting doesn’t mean hands off parenting. You teach, inspire, model and do whatever else you believe in order to instill values and morals. But at some point, your kids have to start making their own choices. See Do Kids Get to Make Choices?

Trust my kids! How can I when they do stupid stuff? I have to ask in response, And you didn’t? We all know on some level that making mistakes is the best way to learn. I may threaten and explain why he shouldn’t speed, but see those blue lights coming up on you for the first time...there's no explanation that can match that experience.

It’s like the three mindful eating questions. You may ask them a dozen times before finally, one day, you decide not toeat the thing you’ve pondered eating for all the wrong reasons.

So yes, the principles which also include acceptance, letting go, beginner’s mind and patience, are simply understood, yet difficult to put into action at times. But they don’t say practice makes perfect (or at least good enough) for nothing.