Sunday, January 15, 2017

4 Marriage-Material Qualities To ALWAYS Look For (And 4 To Ignore)

As Daniel Gilbert described in his aptly named book, Stumbling on Happiness, we don't always know what will make us happy. The same can be said about finding partners for relationships that are likely to make us happy.

My clients and friends tend to have a laundry list of things to look for in a guy, who absolutely, positively has to be attractive and intelligent, love the beach (especially for watching a sunrise or sunset), speak a few languages, enjoy travel, desire many children, and many more.

You may want to reconsider that list.

While we say we want a handsome mate, if we also want an understanding one (as most of us do), recent research shows that the handsome partner who is not understanding will be a terrible disappointment.

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Saturday, January 14, 2017

How To Find A Soulmate (Hint: It Has Nothing To Do With Luck!)

One of my pet peeves is people telling me they're just "unlucky," as an explanation for why they don't have a great job, don't live in an exciting city, or aren't in a fulfilling relationship. Really?

Even in poker, while there's luck involved, there's also skill and the work of honing that skill. When it comes to being discovered as an actor, or getting that coveted job at an amazing law firm, there's always the luck of being in the right place at the right time, but you're not getting the job without skill and hard work as well.

So when I read Jesse Singal's piece, chiding Americans for ignoring the role of luck when it comes to prosperity and success, I was a little perturbed. I get his point and I don't disagree. But, as he notes, it's not ONLY luck that gets us where we want to go.

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Saturday, January 7, 2017

10 Unforgettable Lessons About Being A Woman I Learned From My Mom

It's been almost six months since my mother died and she is still everywhere. It's difficult to distill the wisdom of 91 years, but the rules of life I learned from her are my constant companions. This is just a sampling.

It Never Hurts To Match
Whether partnering a purse and shoes, blouse and skirt, or clothing and jewelry, avoiding clashing colors, patterns and styles is the key to looking smart and successful. Not referring specifically to partners in life here, she thought the same about those. You can't live successfully with someone with whom you clash on basic values and beliefs. Or clothing.

Every Pot Has Its Cover
Here she was clearly speaking metaphorically; you will find your match. This came up as I agonized over someone or other so long ago I can't remember the specifics. It's one of those aphorisms that comes back to me when I talk to friends and clients. It's like one of the Ten Commandments. I took it on faith and it got me through many a dark day. Now I know it's true.

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