Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Childfree Day

To those of you who are not mothers, we ought to include you in the celebration.  I heard a story today about Melanie Notkin‘s book about aunts.  This category of women includes “aunts by choice,” which would include a couple of my BFFs.  It would include godmothers.  Some of the aunts are women who weren’t able to have children and enjoy this contact with children.  Some of the aunts are women who, unbelievably, decide they don’t want the endless, and it is endless, responsibility of motherhood.  These women decide they will find their joy elsewhere, like from friends, lovers or work perhaps.  Crazy, huh?

I’m reminded of a book I read during the infertility days, Sweet Grapes.  How to stop being infertile and start living again, by Jean and Michael Carter.  It talked about things like identifying the advantages of living childfree, making a choice about whether to live childfree and still live a fulfilling life, and becoming childfree instead of remaining infertile.  It was very helpful at the time.

If you’re not completely satisfied with your childfree state, ask yourself whether you can make the choice to be happy and fulfilled without children.  Are you really unhappy being childfree, or is it just that you think you ought to be, because society dictates it or because it’s a habit of thought you’ve hung onto.  If you need a child, it’s time to figure out how to make it happen.  So many options, including aunt by choice.  If you don’t need a child, then it’s time to move on.  Figure out where you’re going and get on the road.

To all the aunts by choice or birth, have a great day! We couldn’t do it without you.  To all the childfree, more power to you and have a great day!  And to all the rest of you, happy mother’s day!

Do what you like.  Blind Faith


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