Monday, October 24, 2011

The Key to My Heart: Relationship Tips

When things are going reasonably well, we tend to take relationships for granted.  There are a number of things we can all do to improve our relationships, in good times and in bad.  Based on the Gottman’s work on marital satisfaction, here are a few of the keys. 

1.  Ask lots of questions and talk a lot, so you can know one another better.  Isn’t it cool when you learn something new about your partner after 5 years?  10 years?

2.  Be positive!   Notice what your partner is doing right and comment on it.  Show positive affect by keeping your tone positive, smiling, using humor and affection, especially in conflict situations.  Use compassionate communication by being clear about your needs and wants, nonaggressively.

3.  Turn toward your partner literally and figuratively.  Accept requests for more intimacy and contact and ask for more yourself.

4.  Take a time out.  When you are in conflict and you feel yourself getting hotter, agree to take a time out to cool off.  Then get back to the calm discussion.

5.  Share.  Share time, share ideas, share rituals, share hobbies, share vacations, share meals and create positive memories together.

For better and for worse, in sickness and in health, it’s always key to love and to cherish (I’m not so sure about the honoring and obeying part).

Higher & Higher, Jackie Wilson

4 comments: said...

I just love Gottman's work, and this was a great blog. Short but sweet. Good work! So anyway, blogspotters, I need some support: I'm a life coach just starting out, and I'm using my blog as a way to drum up some buzz for my business. I could use some followers. I think the blogs are pretty cool...if you would check it out and follow me if you like it, I promise to pay it forward :)

Judith Tutin said...

Thanks and good luck with the coaching!

Mathew said...

This blog is great source of information which is very useful for me. Thank you very much.


Jake Wemsley said...

#2 be positive... GREAT tip. Most people think about themselves too much and forget about this really important one.

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