We've all heard the stories
about millennials being so close with family they take
their moms with them on job interviews. My immediate reaction was that we are
witnessing a generation of mama's boys and girls. Yes, I said girls.
Woman can suffer from the same overinvolved, enmeshed relationships with their
mothers that guys do.
Mama's
boy
has a pejorative ring, like Don Juan or
gold digger, for good reason. I've said,
in
these pages, If
you want a baby to take care of, then have a baby, don't marry one. As we
approach mother's day, consider that your mother might prefer a grown up son…or
daughter.
Typically, sometime during or after adolescence, you
psychologically separate from your parents. You become a unique individual with
your own set of ideas, beliefs and morals. You establish adult relationships
with your parents. If you didn't have secrets before, you definitely have them
now.
Mama's
boys
and girls do not manage the separation
and individuation well. They remain attached in ways that can suffocate new
relationships. Sometimes the problem behaviors are couched in religious, ethnic
or regional cloaks, like, you must always respect your parents, or, your elders are always right.
