Sunday, October 29, 2017

How To Quietly Rage Against Ageism (And Grow Older Gracefully)

The running community is awesome. You make friends training, racing, or out for a casual jog. We’re all equal. If you can keep up with the group, you’re in. Age, ethnicity, and gender are irrelevant.
Or so I thought.
Not long ago, I ran a 10K — far from my first. The race was a combined 5K and 10K. If you’ve never run one of those, as you might guess, there’s a point at which the 5K and 10K groups divide.
As I approached the split, the specter of ageism first appeared.


I could see and hear — despite my no doubt rapidly declining faculties — a guy yelling out the split: 5Ks to the left, 10Ks to the right. He repeated 5K slightly more insistently and pointed left as I approached. Hmm.
Then I got closer, and, since my cognitive abilities are still relatively intact, or at least I like to think so, I was already on the right. And another guy actually repeated, more loudly as I got to the split, "5K, 5K, 5K!" urgent gesticulation left, urgent gesticulation left, urgent gesticulation left.
Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I’m pretty sure he was convinced I looked too old for the 10K.

Read more here...


Saturday, October 7, 2017

How To Deal With (And Get OVER) The Roughest Times In Your Life

Life is not a bowl of cherries…it's more like the box of chocolates Forrest Gump's mother told him about…you never know what you're going to get.

Those chocolates you'd rather not be eating, they're what drive people to therapy. When I consider the issues people often bring to therapy…coping with a loss, a personal failure, an empty nest, a divorce…it seems like some bounce back much more quickly than others. What's the magic ingredient?

A new theory of adaptability suggests that diversifying your personal portfolio is a sustainable method of boosting your resilience to the ups and downs of life.

Do you know how your investment portfolio is supposed to be diversified? You have stocks, bonds, mutual funds, property and the like, some riskier than others. While you probably won't get rich quick, you will avoid taking a hard fall that totally wipes you out. A diversified portfolio makes your financial well-being more resilient to the ups and downs of the market.


There is evidence that expanding the number of roles, relationships and experiences in your life provides a kind of personal diversification that increases emotional resilience, that ability to bounce back, along with happiness and self-esteem.



Saturday, August 26, 2017

The Value of Bromances and 3 Ways to Build Them

There are have been a lot of famous bromances throughout history. Explorers Lewis and Clark. Presidents Adams and Jefferson. Authors J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. President Obama and VP Biden. And, of course, a bromance for the ages: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
 But don’t laugh at or make light of the bromance! Because research shows that relationships — friendships included —  are among the most important factors contributing to happiness and longevity. Yes, your (or your man’s) bromance might just help him live longer!
That’s because loneliness is unhealthy and breeds stress.
According to Geoffrey Greif, psychologist and author of Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships, both men and women expect friends to be understanding, trustworthy, dependable individuals with whom we have things in common.
But we may not teach boys and men how to be good friends.

We expect our friends to be available for activities, to reach out to us and to stay in touch, and I’m sorry to say that men are often not so good with reaching out and staying in touch — behaviors that nurture relationships.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

How To STOP Feeling Lazy, Guilty & Selfish For Taking Care Of Yourself

Women tell me all the time how they want to slow down and take time out from their busy lives to chill, but they can't.

They tell me there's way too much to do to keep things going in their world, and no one else to do it.

Besides, they tell me, taking time for myself is selfish.

They tell me doing stuff for the kids, partner, parents, grandparents, friends, dogs, cats, is more important than me-time.

When they do make time for exercise, yoga, painting or a class, they feel guilty. Isn't cooking and freezing meals for the next decade, helping kids with their homework and vacuuming dog hair for the umpteenth time this week more important than self-improvement?

When they sit and read, take a walk or meditate for 30 minutes they wonder if they're being lazy. What about the cabinets to be cleaned, the extra work they could be doing at their job or preparing the gourmet meal their partner would be thrilled with?


The oxygen-on-the-plane metaphor is something I often invoke. Everyone understands that if you can't breathe you can't help your 4-year-old breathe. Think of taking a little time for solitude as something to help you breathe.



Tuesday, July 25, 2017

3 Ways To Build A Super Strong Bromance (Because Guys Need Friends, Too!)

There are have been a lot of famous bromances throughout history. Explorers Lewis and Clark. Presidents Adams and Jefferson. Authors J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. President Obama and VP Biden. And, of course, a bromance for the ages: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
But don't laugh at or make light of the bromance! Because research shows that relationships — friendships included —  are among the most important factors contributing to happiness and longevity. Yes, your (or your man's) bromance might just help him live longer!
That's because loneliness is unhealthy and breeds stress.
According to Geoffrey Greif, psychologist and author of Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships, both men and women expect friends to be understanding, trustworthy, dependable individuals with whom we have things in common.
But we may not teach boys and men how to be good friends. 

Sunday, July 16, 2017

5 Ways To Get Out Of The Bad Mood That's Ruining Your Day

My ballet career ended abruptly after a performance as Tinker Bell in Peter Pan. 

Remember when Tinker Bell is dying and the audience has to clap to bring her back to life? Instead of gracefully floating down facing the audience, I flopped down with my butt toward the crowd. 

I must have been about six. 

I can still hear the barely stifled snickers, probably from siblings forced to attend.

While there were many positive events in my childhood, the memories of them tend to be less elaborate and persistent than the Peter Pan incident, as it became known in my family. 

There were recitals in which I did not blunder. Why don't I remember them?

The psychological reason is simple: the bad outweighs the good.

Read more here...

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Top 100 Life Coach Blogs


I'm delighted my blog has been selected as one of the "Top 100 Life Coach Blogs." The fact that I'm #100 does not decrease my enthusiasm in the least. Top life coach blogs on the web, on the planet; it doesn't get much better than that!