Improve Your Inner Dialogue and Decrease Anxiety

GUEST BLOGGER Ryan Rivera used to suffer from anxiety. When he turned to natural and alternative methods of treatment, he got the help he needed. To know more about how he survived anxiety, go to www.calmclinic.com

Internal dialogue, or self-talk, powerfully shapes and programs your self-concept. Usually normal and non-threatening, when the content consists of unfailingly negative and unhealthy deliberations or beliefs about your self-worth, self-talk can lead to anxiety. To be set free from this negative internal dialogue, work must be done.

1. Become More Mindful of Your Thinking Pattern

The first step to changing your negative internal dialogue is to gain awareness of your thinking pattern, particularly the instances when negative thoughts persist. Scrutinize and analyze your mental ideas and sentences. Identify them as positive or negative. Keep the positive ones and throw the negative thoughts away.

2. Keep Your Thoughts in a Journal

Sometimes, you can’t keep track of all the thoughts you have. To track thoughts and allow for further examination, keep a journal or diary. When a troubling thought comes or a strong feeling is evoked write it down like you are telling a story--your story. It will shed light on the real root of your difficulties.

3. STOP the Negative Thoughts

When a negative thought pops up, take active action and stop it. You can do this by stating out loud the very simple, four-letter word “STOP!” Saying this with conviction and power makes you the master of your mind. Taking control makes you the master of your thinking.

4. Relax

For counterattacks against negative thoughts to be effective, you must be calm. With your back on a chair or on a firm mattress, close your eyes and block all surrounding noises, except your breathing. Press your palms on your chest and abdomen. Inhale deeply and feel the rise of your abdomen. Hold your breath. Then, slowly release this air and feel your abdomen fall. Repeat until you’re more relaxed.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Extreme negativity feeds anxiety. Thinking of worst case scenarios and assuming you will fail contributes directly to failure. To stop this vicious cycle, question your negative thoughts. Ask yourself if these thoughts are reasonable and logical. If not, think instead: “things will be better this time” or “everything will turn out well."

6. Positive Affirmations

“I am at peace today” or “I am good” are examples of positive affirmations, a great tool to help reprogram your unconscious mind from negative thinking to positive. Make a positive statement that you would like reality to reflect, and repeat it until it is part of your way of thinking.

Improving your internal dialogue is a great anxiety reduction technique that you must practice to master.  Recognize that negative thoughts are mere thoughts, nothing more and nothing less, and achieve peace of mind.

Beating Performance Anxiety

Truthfully, one of my peer-coaches helped me with this situation. I was absolutely dreading doing a demonstration in one of my classes. Although I've received positive feedback in the past and have a long history of successful public speaking of one sort or another, I was filled with anxiety. Anticipating volunteering resulted in shortness of breath, racing heartbeat and a slightly sick feeling. It was like facing a pool from a high diving board; I know I can do it, but it doesn't seem like fun until it's over.

I tried to understand why this particular situation called up my gremlin. My gremlin is the little elf-like creature that lives inside my head evaluating me. In this particular situation he (yes, mine is male) was telling me that I was going to look like an idiot. Sometimes after the fact he informs me that I looked like an idiot or outlines the ways in which I looked stupid. Check out "Taming your Gremlin" by Rick Carson.

But why this situation? One of the big things was that I could not over-prepare. That's one of my strategies for giving a talk in public. Practice, practice, practice. You know, like the way to get to Carnegie Hall. It reduces my anxiety in a variety of ways: I get more confident knowing I'm able to get through the material without too much umming; I have a chance to actually feel myself getting less anxious by the third or so time I go through it; and I'm able to prepare for where I might not be able to be spontaneous when I'm nervous by putting in examples or jokes to use. Practicing quiets my gremlin.

When you do a demonstration with an unknown partner and unknown subject, you can't over-prepare. You don't know what's going to hit you.

So this is how I handled it. I went over all the things I was prepared with, identifying the skills I possessed to handle the situation. I reminded myself of all the similar situations in which I've been successful int he past. I came up with several extremely positive outcomes that could conceivably occur (e.g., people would love me and think I was just the hottest coach around; it IS conceivable, I swear).

Probably most important was my coach's suggestion that I inject some humor into the thing and plan for a celebration afterwards. I picked a song that would lighten things up for me and listened to it beforehand. I got two of my son's funny hats and had them on my desk. On one occasion I was actually wearing the hat. I decided I'd have some champagne when it was over, even though it was a work night.

After all this preparation I was much less anxious. My gremlin was now silent. I was viewing the demo with a lot more humor, not taking myself as seriously as I'm sometimes prone to doing. It went wonderfully. That glass of wine (okay, I didn't spring for the champagne) really felt well-deserved. And it was fun! Next time you have to "perform," figure out some creative ways to quiet the little voice in your head and calm your nerves. Then, take the plunge.