Olympian Challenges

All the hoopla about the Olympics makes me ponder the Olympian challenges that face us all, and how we conquer them.

I’ve noticed that many of the articles that I scan, or that are sent to me by family and friends, from publications as varied as Women’s Day, The NY Times, The Wall Street Journal, Sports Illustrated, and more, frequently propose the notion that we can all do great things, Olympian things, as it were. These things, it is posited, are accomplished by means of such behaviors as perseverance, tapping into strengths, following dreams and passions, focus and problem-solving, to name a few.

We are able to attain said accomplishments according to said articles, and their sister articles that focus on taking time for oneself, by not only doing, but also not doing. Not doing covers such things as relaxation exercises, meditation, yoga, walking, jogging, reading, pondering, fishing, biking, and driving, to name just some. While, you may say, these things are really doing, they’ve not doing the thing we’re trying to accomplish.

Thus, we work, and then we take time to regroup, replenish, re-whatever, in order to continue on toward our chosen goals. As we often point out in coaching, taking even 10 minutes toward your goal, or toward your time-out from goals, is well worth the effort. Come one, how many times have you read that taking three deep breaths (in through the nose, out through the mouth, from the abdomen, not the upper chest, add a few seconds on the exhale) once a day improves health and wellness? It doesn't even take 3 minutes.

Right now, my Olympian challenge is mastering Microsoft Vista. I know I can do it. I also know it’s going to take time as well as perseverance, focus and problem-solving, among other things. But that didn’t stop me from doing 15 minutes of yoga and running 30 today.

I’ll make it to the top eventually, cause I won’t back down (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers). Sorry for you regular readers, but some songs you just have to use more than once.

20 one minute ways to beat stress got me started on this. Check it out.

Electronic Anthropomorphism

Someone actually studied how anthropomorphism toward computer terminals affected loyalty to the terminal .

How did I learn this, you ask? I was wondering if anyone studied electronic anthropomorphism.

You see, when I returned from my two weeks away from my computer, it started misbehaving. The screen would go black, or blue. It was very unresponsive at times. I started getting pretty peeved with it. I decided it was time for a replacement. Normally, I’m quite monogamous. But it had, after all, lived a full life. Five years for a laptop in daily use is about what we’d expect. Less than a marriage, but more than a fling.

There’s an interesting article, if you’re interested in this sort of thing, which attempts to explain the conditions under which we are more or less like to anthropomorphize. On the basis of the article, I might conclude that I’m lacking in adequate human relationships or that my relative novice status vis-à-vis machines enables me to react as if the machine was intentionally willing me harm.

Now the replacement machine is almost completely functional for my purposes, I’m wondering is the Vista system is, in fact, plotting my demise. Really, it’s not bad I told a friend earlier this evening. But now, as the night wears on, I’m beginning to wonder. Multiple internet explorer screens appearing unbidden. Outlook address book that is clearly my new bad boy.

But am I going to let it get in my way? Heck no. It’s just another bounce back opportunity. I’m working, very slowly at this point, on my next newsletter which I think will be about resilience. One way to look at resilience is to think of the ability to bounce back, which I have in exceptional abundance I’m told.

You see even with this computer snafu, I’m still working on ideas that I’m sure will come in handy at some point. After all, there was R2-D2, the i-Cybie and Blade Runner’s replicant, Rachael; and was Deckard a replicant after all? Who knows, maybe I’ll write the next 2001.

Post-Vacation Crunch

I told myself, and my newsletter readers, that I was going to take it easy in July. After all, I missed the first week due to my vacation (I know, boo hoo, poor me). The post-vacation situation is that there are piles of things at work, piles of things at home, phone calls to be made to catch up, endless laundry, restocking the larder, getting the doctor appointments caught up before school starts, etc. And there are also the usual things I do and enjoy doing.

Yet, there’s a little nagging voice in my head. Why haven’t you blogged? You’ve had ideas. You’ve written them down. What’s the holdup? And what about that newsletter? When do you think you’re going to get to that? You should be working on it now. What’ve you been doing with all your time?

Then I go through the list of things I’ve been doing with my time. They all seem legit. It’s not like I’m spending long hours contemplating my navel. And what if I were? What would be wrong with that?

So now I’m telling myself that I’ll get to things when I get to them. Like right now, I had planned (notice I didn’t give it a should) to be working on something else. But the mood was right to work on this and the something else will surely wait. It’s not do or die. Not too many things are, are they?

So I’m telling the little nagging voice: Give it a rest. Things will get done in their own time. There’s no real rush. Life will go on whether I pay my bills today or three days from now. I’d rather catch up with a friend than get to that work quicker. If someone needs the work they’ll ask for it and I’ll do it. No biggie. I’m going to take three deep breaths and go to my happy place; why don’t you try to do the same you nag?

I know this self-talk strategy only works for a while and then the nagging voice needs to hear my kinder, gentler version of SHUT UP! again. But that’s fine. Some things require a great deal of repetition for mastery.

And when I’m ready to embark on a new project, I’ll put on a little Black Eyed Peas…Let’s get it started. Until then, I’m going to enjoy my post-vacation calm.

My Favorite Mistake

My most recent newsletter focused on self-forgiveness. How do we forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made? The biggest reaction was about the nature of the mistakes I referenced. People were adamant about which were big and which were silly. For some, the stock market misses were the biggies. For others, market decisions paled in comparison to life choices like having kids or marrying. I included dieting choices because I work with so many people for whom these choices have the do or die feel. I know for others the career missteps are the most painful.

There’s a concept I’ve been recently taken with: inattentional blindness. It’s the notion that unless we’re specifically attending to something, we can be totally blind to it, even when it’s before our very eyes. The most amusing experiment is about the students who miss the person in the gorilla suit while attending to how many basketball passes six students make to one another in a video clip.

So, the takeaway? It’s easy to miss the obvious. What’s your favorite mistake?

And there's always Sheryl Crow's My Favorite Mistake.

Had a Great Time, Wish You Were There

Return from vacation seems like it warrants a blog entry. I'm not charmed when people dominate a conversation talking about the trip they recently took. It's like the old days when Uncle John would force everyone of all ages to watch his slides of the family trip to Miami Beach. But surely there are some good takeaways from a two-week vacation (aside from souvenirs and memories). My list, in no particular order:

• Bring entertainment for the moments you just want to veg or are stuck on a plane or the like...did I see a lot of Sudoku books.
• Be busy enough to be tired. After all, you came all that way, right? See it all. Do it all. You can sleep when you get home.
• Every time you want to complain, go over your list of positive self-statements: don't sweat the small stuff; you can't control everything; nothing's perfect.
• Try new stuff. Eat food you don't usually eat. Talk to people you wouldn't normally bother with.
• Don't allow yourself to be consumed with what you've left behind. Forget the email. Don't call home daily.
• Don't worry about buying things. This includes not worrying about getting the "right" gifts for everyone. And don't perseverate about souvenirs. After all, you're not going to forget you went to Venice, right?

Have as much fun as you can. Because, when you get home, it's back to the usual, whatever that may be and however much you may enjoy it. Ciao.

Separation Anxiety

I'm having separation anxiety. I don't want to leave my computer. I'm thrilled to be going on vacation. It's my first 2-week vacation in forever. But I'm not thrilled to be leaving my computer. I've left it for a weekend many times. It's a little difficult, but I manage. But 13 days. It's not so much the email. It's the access to the universe. It's the writing...I rarely write by hand anymore. Let's face it, it's bloody everything.

Sometimes when I'm working on something I don't get out of my desk chair for hours for anything. Not for a phonebook, a dictionary, the weather channel. Why get up? It's all right at my fingertips, which no longer have to do the walking. Now I just click. Soon, I'm certain, there will be virtual coffee.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about it. I love the convenience and the speed. I've just become attached. Too attached. What we might call an unhealthy attachment.

So what do to? I'm going to consider it a growth experience. It will be my project for the trip. Let go of the technology. Be one with the non-technological universe. Just breathe through the anxiety. Use a freakin' pen to write. Talk real talk to real people instead of cybertalk to cyberpeople.

At a meeting today someone used the phrase "cybercabinet." It's a place on their accountant's website where they can store a backup of their data. What next, I wonder?

I guess I'm just white & nerdy. I'll be back in a couple of weeks and I will be relaxed. But I'm taking my iPod.

Bette Davis Eyes

From the Maybelline website:

Whether you want volume, length, curves or definition, you’ll get your best lash look with our winning formulas.

It's Maybelline folks, we're talking eyelashes here. This morning on NPR's Marketplace I heard that the Botox people are about to bring us a new pill; it's one that makes lashes thicker, longer and darker. I am not kidding.

If we're already dissatisfied with our face, hair, boobs, butts, or any other body parts, we can now add eyelashes to the list of our inadequacies.

I know for all the actualized folks out there, these things are superficial and barely worth a thought; you know, like the folks on jezebel.com who think that it's only the Sex and the City women that care about clothes etc. ("Do they have hobbies, aside from shopping? " http://jezebel.com/5012292/i-like-sex-i-like-this-city-i-hated-sex-and-the-city). As for the rest of us slobs, we're gonna have to consider whether we need some lash enhancement above and beyond mascara, along with our other enhancements and dehancements.

You can tell I think this is absurd. It does concern me though. The thought that there are a bunch of people out there, primarily women, okay, and some gay men, who are going to see the ads for this inane product and think: hmmm, what about my lashes? Do they have the volume and curves I need?

I know, let the buyer beware, but honestly.

Please, you've got to count your blessings. These include your strengths, be they Bette Davis eyes, Marie Curie brains or Anne Frank courage. Forget the pills. Stick with mascara.

Her hair is Harlowe gold,
Her lips sweet surprise
Her hands are never cold,
She's got Bette Davis eyes
(Bette Davis Eyes, Kim Carnes)