One of the regrets of the dying is that they wish they'd allowed
themselves to be happier, realizing, finally, that happiness is a choice. I hate to be morbid, but it's
something to think about. Life is short. Here are a few things you might
consider for more happiness in the New Year.
·
Establishing a goal of being happier makes a difference. It's that idea of choice mentioned by
the dying. If you think, I can't be happy
because [fill in the blank], you are not establishing a goal of happiness.
Similarly, I will be happy when…,
though it establishes the possibility of happiness, also implies that, I will not be happy until… You will be
happier if you simply decide that happiness is important, possible and
something you will work toward.
·
Do things you think you will be happy
about. Need I point
out the obvious? Do not do things you think you will be unhappy about. There
are no guarantees here, since it's clear that often we don't know what will
make us happy. Nevertheless, thoughtfully considering whether something is
likely to make you feel happy because it fits with your values, interests and strengths, is a good start.
·
Savor things that are positive, even
small things. Hearing
your favorite song on the radio. Playing with your kids. Making someone smile. When
you allow things to go by too fast, you don't truly enjoy them. But it's more
than slowing things down. The more you try to notice and savor positive things, the more positive
things you notice.
·
Do what you love. Please don't say you can't. Maybe
you don't get to do it 8 hours a day and maybe you don't get paid to do it. But
don't let that stop you. Maybe you're tired of waiting for your big break. Writers
often write after they finish their day jobs; think Kafka. Actors wait tables
until they get their big break. If you
want to run a marathon, go for it. No regrets. No giving up.
·
Accept the things you cannot change. In fact, embrace them and figure
out what you're going to do about them. It's not about changing them (remember,
they can't be changed), but about changing how you deal with them. Crises are
in this category, and they're opportunities for change and growth. Let them snort when you
make lemonade out of lemons. It feels a whole lot better than drinking the
lemons straight.
·
Choose experiences over things. We'll always have Paris, but those
Jimmy Choos, no so much. Things don't last and, if they do, they'll be out of
style. Paris is always fashionable. Even that dream house is not going to feel
as dreamy as time passes. But the hiking trip you took with your best friend
and the time you saw the Eiffel Tower as the sun set (yeah, I have a thing
about Paris), these are things that stay with you, make you smile years later
and can feel transcendent.
Ask yourself
how you're doing in each of these areas to jumpstart your happiness journey. Then ask yourself to identify one
small thing you can do to pump your happiness up a notch. It's a new year. The
clock is ticking. Paris is waiting.
Feeling Good, Nina Simone
This blog was originally published at YourTango.
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