Life Lessons From My Maiden Marathon

I have run my entire adult life. I ran my way from my first marriage, back into college, and right into a divorce. I ran my way into grad school and by the time I finished I'd run in at least twelve states, the District of Columbia, the US Virgin Islands and Canada. I ran my way through my first couple of jobs, and a second marriage and divorce. At that point I estimate I'd run in another eleven states and six other countries. Not until I entered my first race, 10 years ago, did I consider myself a "real" runner.  

Lesson 1. Don't sell yourself short. If you run, you're a runner. You don't have to wait for the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval to be something. If you write, you're a writer. Read more here...

The Olympics Remind Us About Lucky Charms And Other Power Objects

Olympic athletes wear lucky socks and bras, and keep four-leaf clover rings and lucky dinosaurs. These are just a few of the lucky charms, or power objects, I read about during the recent games. I'm sure we would find more if we had an opportunity to rifle through all the athletes' belongings.

You may not be getting ready to medal, but maybe you're about to go on a first date, give a speech, or interview for a job, and feel the need for a lucky charm yourself. There's nothing lucky about these charms, so I prefer the term power object. They work, but not in such mysterious ways. It's a three-step process.

Step one. When you use a power object, you first clarify your intention for your desired outcome. It's always easier to get what you want when your vision of it is clear. For example, you place mala beads (the power object) on your desk. Each time you notice the beads you will tell yourself, "be calm and breathe" (your intention), so you will be brilliant during your job interview (the outcome).

Step two. The second step is strengthening the links between the power object, intention, and outcome, through repetition. Every time you notice the power object you're reminded of your intention to stay calm and breathe. You take a few breaths each time. You're reinforcing the belief that you can control the situation and produce a positive outcome through your behavior. With each breath, that positive outcome starts to feel more likely. With each repetition, you start to feel more empowered.

Step three. The final step is using the object in the stressful situation. When you go into a stressful situation like a job interview, you may keep the beads in your pocket as a concrete reminder of your intention to stay calm and breathe. This intention has now become effortlessly attached to the power object. As a result, you feel calmer in the situation. Your desired outcome, a brilliant performance, is attainable.

Your power object can be a stone, a photo or any object that makes sense and feels right to you. You can have the object in a purse, have it pop up on your phone, or create another process that works for you. The repeated connection between the intention and the object gives you that extra sense of control over the outcome. You have created your own lucky charm that provides that Olympian power you need for a challenge.

Set Intentions Mindfully

The practice of mindfulness often refers to intentions. For example, I’m working on my meditation practice, so I start the week with an intention to mediate earlier in the day. Is that different than my intention to go to the supermarket after work? Is it the same as my intention not to yell at my child? How does the intention affect my behavior? Is it even worth setting an intention?

There’s evidence that setting an intention and making it public do help with behavior change. You set your quit date (cigarettes, chocolate cake, whatever your poison) and start telling people and it improves your outcome. Intentions are good for all sorts of changes we desire. Think about what you’d like to be doing differently and consider how you might set an intention for yourself.

A few suggestions on intentions.

* Becoming aware our intentions is a start. Although I wanted to write a blog for the past week, I did not set a specific intention to do so until today. Think about it. Do you ever do anything without first intending to? If you do, I challenge you to go back and try to identify whether there was really a little bit of an intention, even if unacknowledged. If you really can’t identify your intention, that’s okay, you can set an intention to notice your intentions. No, I’m not kidding. And you can always just go on to the next step, which is setting an intention.

* Make a conscious choice about your intention. What is it you want? And how do you intend to get it? Do you want to notice every time you go into the kitchen to get something to eat and ask yourself the 3 mindful eating questions? Do you want to stop yelling at your kids and become more mindful? Do you want to get your expenses handed in on time?

* Remind yourself about the intention. How will you do it? You can write down your intention for the day or week in a lovely journal. That’s great, but if you do be sure to decide when you’ll refer to that lovely journal, lest it just gather dust on the shelf with your other new year’s resolutions. You can leave yourself little sticky notes in prominent places to remind you. You can set your phone to remind you. You get the idea.

* Continuing the work without judgment. In other words, work on your intention, notice if you’re sticking to it, but don’t start telling yourself your bad, lazy or a slacker if you don’t get it done as often as you’d like. Just notice, and remind yourself again of what the intention is. Keep at it.