How To Quietly Rage Against Ageism (And Grow Older Gracefully)

The running community is awesome. You make friends training, racing, or out for a casual jog. We’re all equal. If you can keep up with the group, you’re in. Age, ethnicity, and gender are irrelevant.

Or so I thought.

Not long ago, I ran a 10K — far from my first. The race was a combined 5K and 10K. If you’ve never run one of those, as you might guess, there’s a point at which the 5K and 10K groups divide.

As I approached the split, the specter of ageism first appeared.

I could see and hear — despite my no doubt rapidly declining faculties — a guy yelling out the split: 5Ks to the left, 10Ks to the right. He repeated 5K slightly more insistently and pointed left as I approached. Hmm.

Then I got closer, and, since my cognitive abilities are still relatively intact, or at least I like to think so, I was already on the right. And another guy actually repeated, more loudly as I got to the split, "5K, 5K, 5K!" urgent gesticulation left, urgent gesticulation left, urgent gesticulation left.

Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I’m pretty sure he was convinced I looked too old for the 10K.

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5 Awesome Benefits Yoga And Running Bring To Life

As I ran one day it came to me, in the way that running and yoga bring insights, that there are striking similarities between the experiences of running and yoga. Neither is solely about benefits like relaxation, stress reduction or weight management, because the gains are so much bigger. Most forms of exercise and meditation enable us to practice the same skills and attitudes that also serve us well in life.

If you struggle to achieve balance, joy and growth in your life, choose an appealing form of exercise or yoga-like activity, and try it using these skills and attitudes:

1.  Respect your intelligent edge. We have all paid the price of not respecting the limits of our bodies, of not stopping at our intelligent edge. The result is physical pain or exhaustion after muscling into a pose that's beyond us or running too fast, too long on a given day. While you don't want to be a slacker, you also don't want to overdo.  It's similar to wanting to make partner, recognizing the 16 hour days, seven days a week are killing you, and deciding to slow down. Recognizing that you will get where you need to be eventually, but you only have one body and must respect it, is a useful way to view exercise and life.

2.      Balance energy and goals. Balance requires continually finding the strength to (in no particular order) set goals, achieve goals, set new goals and rework goals. Sometimes an injury gets in the way of moving forward. Sometimes one goal takes precedence over another. I thought I'd find the time to run a marathon this year, but with various things intervening, decided on a half instead. Though headstand is a goal, during each practice I don't necessarily strain to get closer. Learn that all personal and professional endeavors have an energetic push toward goals, while acknowledging that life happens and balance must be sought.

3.      Experience flow. Nothing beats the exhilarating state of flow. In flow one is challenged to perform, but the act is simultaneously effortless. Moving through the asanas of your yoga practice you may move into flow, realizing at some point that you are no longer thinking or evaluating, you're just practicing. On a long run there's often a point where you forget about the time, pace and distance and you just enjoy the feel of the air on your face, your feet hitting the ground and the feeling you're almost flying. Flow activities require skills you already possess, but they're skills you are constantly honing, much the way you develop your technique if you play a sport or musical instrument. Whether in exercise or life, challenges bring excitement and growth.

4.      Be present without striving. Some days I'm not striving to get anywhere in particular. In yoga I'm not trying to get deeper in a pose. On days like this my run is called, "Easy run," which is just what it sounds like. No requirements. There's nothing to achieve other than doing the three miles. It's like going for a leisurely bike ride with no particular destination and savoring the scenery. What a peaceful way to face a day. Be intentional about trying to master something, learn something new or perform at a higher level. The rest of the time, intentionally be present.

5.      Experience the joy of acceptance. Whether respecting your intelligent edge, creating balance in your practice and your life, or simply being present, consider whatever you can do at any given moment to be good enough if it's your best effort. Your best effort today may not be the same as your best effort tomorrow, and that's perfectly fine. It could not be any other way. Realize that everything you do does not have to be just shy of perfection and you will experience the joy of acceptance.

 There's a dynamic that occurs when you're working out or working on anything. You're trying to reach goals while also respecting your intelligent edge, learning to accept where you are today. The more you practice, the more you can bring these attitudes to life. So carve out time for your particular passion, be it kickboxing or Tai Chi, and develop skills and attitudes to bring you the balance and joy you need to face the world. Insight is another awesome bonus.

 Judith Tutin, PhD, ACC, is a licensed psychologist and certified life coach. Connect with her at drjudithtutin.com where you can request a free coaching call to bring more passion, fun and wellness to your life.

Need A Boost Of Confidence? First, Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Why enter a road race? If I say, Because it's fun, I can hear the groans already. Another reason I do it is because it's out of my comfort zone. I've been running a long time and running on my own is easy. But entering a race, sitting in my hotel room alone the night before, checking my gear for the nth time, wondering just how much colder the wind will make it feel, anxiously trying to sleep and then waking up early, with nervous anticipation, sometimes I really wonder why I do it.

I've decided it's all about getting out of my comfort zone and becoming stronger—not just physically stronger, but mentally stronger. Here's how it works:

The Positive Mindset

As Olympic runner Jeff Galloway said, "The more you frame the marathon as a stressful experience, the more negative messages you will receive." Sitting in my hotel room I sometimes have a negative mindset, worrying about the potential problems and pitfalls of the next day's race. To shake that, I remind myself of how I'll feel walking toward the starting line with fellow-runners, talking about last year's race, those we've run recently and upcoming events, and my positive mindset kicks in. 

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Life Lessons From My Maiden Marathon

I have run my entire adult life. I ran my way from my first marriage, back into college, and right into a divorce. I ran my way into grad school and by the time I finished I'd run in at least twelve states, the District of Columbia, the US Virgin Islands and Canada. I ran my way through my first couple of jobs, and a second marriage and divorce. At that point I estimate I'd run in another eleven states and six other countries. Not until I entered my first race, 10 years ago, did I consider myself a "real" runner.  

Lesson 1. Don't sell yourself short. If you run, you're a runner. You don't have to wait for the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval to be something. If you write, you're a writer. Read more here...

Face New Challenges With Irrational Optimism

While investigating high performance, I came across the idea of irrational optimism. Matthew Syed attributes to Arsene Wenger, of Arsenal FC fame, the statement: "No top performer has lacked this capacity for irrational optimism…the ability to remove doubt from his mind." In other words, you do not consider the possibility of failure when you're being irrationally optimistic. Why irrational? Because, naturally, in any significant endeavor, there is always a possibility of failure. The irrational optimism is in having no doubt about your future success.

Recent research findings tell us that being pessimistic may help the elderly live longer. Of course I want people to live longer. What troubles me is the idea that if we consider optimism to be irrational in certain situations, we may conclude that optimism is bad. Read more here...

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