Get Out of the Post-Divorce Doldrums…It's Spring!

Spring is a great time for renewal, reinvigoration and reinvention. It's a time to leave the post-divorce doldrums behind. 

You can get stuck in the doldrums after any period of stress like divorce, maybe even anytime after you hit the big 5-0. An area near the equator, the doldrums are famous for diabolical transitions from calm to squalls, with, by one definition, "light, baffling winds." The doldrums can keep a ship stuck. If this sounds like your life, you're not alone. 

As any life coach will tell you, anytime is a good time to move forward in your life. With the sun shining a little more and life returning all around us, spring is a really good time to seriously consider taking a few steps to leave the doldrums behind and start smelling the flowers again.

Change is different for everyone. Some of my suggestions may float your boat, others may not. Both will trigger thoughts of things you might like to try. To see big changes in your life, you can start by trying something new. 

Read more here...

 

Life Lessons From My Maiden Marathon

I have run my entire adult life. I ran my way from my first marriage, back into college, and right into a divorce. I ran my way into grad school and by the time I finished I'd run in at least twelve states, the District of Columbia, the US Virgin Islands and Canada. I ran my way through my first couple of jobs, and a second marriage and divorce. At that point I estimate I'd run in another eleven states and six other countries. Not until I entered my first race, 10 years ago, did I consider myself a "real" runner.  

Lesson 1. Don't sell yourself short. If you run, you're a runner. You don't have to wait for the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval to be something. If you write, you're a writer. Read more here...

Create Inner Space

One of Jeffrey Rubin’s suggestions for flourishing is creating more inner space.  He calls it “the capacity we all have to sit with and reflect on thoughts and feelings at our own pace.”  You can access inner space anywhere by doing a variety of things.  Meditation, yoga, reading, music writing and being in nature are some of the ways he identifies.  Anything that cultivates “clarity and equanimity” expands inner space.

The task for you is to consider what helps you think more clearly and what enables you to create more acceptance in your life. These are the things that help create more inner space.

In Poser, My Life in23 Yoga Poses, Claire Dederer says, about one type of yoga:

It’s a quality of inwardness, of contemplation…Try to feel from within, rather than judging and looking at what’s on the outside.

This sounds a lot like creating inner space.  Poser is also a great read.

I’m unable to locate any scholarly work addressing inner space.  That’s my euphemistic way of saying I don’t know if there’s any research to support this.  But it sounds a lot like, but not quite the same as, cultivating mindfulness, which does have a great deal of research support.

My suggestion:  think about how much time (or how little time) you spend in quiet reflection.  Ask yourself if you’d like to take steps to increase that time.  If that’s a yes, identify a couple of things you can do to expand your inner space.

My other suggestion:  Time, Pink Floyd.