Can Wellness be Fun?

Ask yourself: Can wellness be Fun, with a capital F?

When people hear I’ve run a half-marathon (and I try to tell as many people as possible), they groan sympathetically.  Then they usually ask what my time was.  They don’t ask me if it was Fun.

I do yoga stretches before I run.  When people comment on it, they tell me how agonizing it looks, or how painful it would be if they tried it.  They don’t ask me if I Enjoy it.

When people talk with me about losing weight, they tell me I look like I’ve never had a weight problem.  They tell me how hard it is for them to lose weight.  They don’t ask me if it feels Great to be at a healthy weight.

My point:  wellness can be Fun, with a capital F.  How, you ask?  Just a few thoughts.

I really enjoyed training for my half.  I liked pushing myself and feeling the gains.  I liked meeting people who were shooting for the same goals.  I felt Empowered, and that’s with a capital E.

I love yoga.  I like learning new poses and practices.  I like meeting new people who are also learning and seeking.  Yoga is Empowering.

I work at maintaining my weight.  I like the satisfaction I feel when I know I’ve worked hard at exercising and not overeating.  I like hanging out with people who take diet and exercise seriously.  Maintaining a healthy weight is Empowering.

The point is not to run, do yoga or eat a particular way.  You can walk, Zumba, meditate, rock climb, bike, swim, tennis, read, macrobioticize, veganize, guitar it, sing it, belly dance or pick your own Pleasure, with a capital P.  The point is to figure out how to Enjoy your wellness plan, and have your own unique kind of Fun.  Feel Empowered.

 I Got a Feeling, Black Eyed Peas

When Did You Mysteriously Stop Doing…?

 I used to love reading mysteries.  At some point, I decided I didn’t have the time and it wasn’t really productive reading.  I just finished The Private Patient, by PD James and really enjoyed it. I even got some ideas from it (like this blog).

I’ve heard the same refrain, wistfully, from a number of people in the last week:

I used to [paint, write poetry, play music, etc], but…

Is there something you used to do?  I don’t mean something you’re happy not to do, like get drunk on Friday night, drive too fast or, well, you get the idea.  But is there something you used to enjoy doing that you’ve given up?  Was it something that renewed your energy and gave you a little more zest?

Reasons people give for giving up things they love include, but are not limited to:

*I don’t have time

*It makes my bf, gf, mother, spouse, etc., nervous, competitive, etc.

*I’m not that good at it

*It seems stupid

*I don’t make money doing it

*It’s not important

I see way too many people these days with no hobbies, interests or activities that they engage in just for fun.  They work, take care of kids or other family members and maintain households.   They do things like plant gardens that will look nice but they have no time to enjoy them.  They go out to lunch with people they don’t like that much because they ought to.  They paint rooms in their homes because they think they should.

Stop for a moment and consider if there are things you used to enjoy doing that have mysteriously slipped out of your life.  Consider whether you’d like to have them back.  I know it takes a little time, but does that spare room really need to be straightened out this week?  Can you leave work behind for the 30 minutes it would take to listen to a little music?  Go crazy and cook that fantastic dish that’s going to take an extra hour to make, just for the fun of it.  Or just pick up your favorite mystery writer’s latest.

Just for fun: Mysterious Ways, U2

Holiday Recovery

A number of people have mentioned to me that they have to recover from the holidays. It struck me as odd. The appropriate Wikipedia entry for this meaning of holiday is: A period of one or more days taken off work by an employee for leisure. Then if we look at leisure we find: Freedom provided by the cessation of activities.

What’s wrong with this picture? I’m thinking freedom provided by not working is not something we ought to have to recover from. So how does this happen?

I know that we may overdo things, trying to pack too many activities into the time. It’s not that you can have too much fun. But if we are constantly on the run, trying to fit everything in, we lose one of the great pleasures of holiday time: relaxing. We make the holiday into work by trying to to see everyone, get the cards out, get the perfect gifts delivered, be certain that everyone around us is having a good time, and so on.

What if we just tried to relax and have fun? It might look different than the usual holiday. Perhaps you would only send cards to the important people, give gifts that reflect what you feel instead of trying to figure out what others want (it takes a lot less time to express your feelings than to attempt to intuit others’ needs), see only those people you really want to see and do only those things you really want to do. I don’t mean in a selfish way. Of course you do things to please others at times. Emphasis on “at times.” In other words, not all the time.

And when you think about what you want to do, ask yourself if you really want to, or if there’s a hidden “should” in there. For example, I should go to the new exhibit at the museum because… This is quite different from, I’m going to the new exhibit because I’m really interested in seeing the Chinese terracotta soldiers.

So I’m picturing a holiday that’s actually a holiday for you, not for everyone else. Maybe next time?

Do girls just wanna have fun?

For the past few weeks I’ve been searching the internet here and there, looking for articles about fun. What I’ve found have been articles and sites for games and gaming, “how to” pieces incorporating fun (e.g, how to have fun learning), some personals (looking for fun woman), and sites making fun of various things, including psychology. Nothing on fun itself. I finally found “fun with serotonin,” on the psychology today site, although I didn’t really get the fun part of it.

So where do you go when you can’t find something? Wikipedia, of course. When you search for fun, you’re redirected to recreation. First off you see that the article can’t be edited without special approval due to “vandalism.” A small irony here, perhaps. You note at the end that you’re referred, among other things, to a site explaining recreational drugs. But the gist of it is:
Recreation or fun is the expenditure of time in a manner designed for therapeutic refreshment of one's body or mind. There’s a small section entitled “legal restrictions.” Some recreational activities are made illegal in many jurisdictions because of the perceived immorality of certain forms of "fun." Need I say more?


Then there’s Merriam-Webster on fun: what provides amusement or enjoyment; and on play: recreational activity; especially: the spontaneous activity of children.

So if we keep this in mind and focus on ourselves (after all, what’s more important?), what’s fun to us? In other words, what do you do to have fun? I’ll bet you can think of a few things. Now ask yourself, how much time do I spend, in a given day, having fun? Be selective. Even if you love your work, you can’t really count it as fun, can you? Do you need to spend more time having fun?

Why do I care about fun? I find that a lot of people don’t seem to value it much, but it appears that having more is related to being happy. It’s just something to think about. Have fun with it.

And have a listen to Girls Just Want To Have Fun (I like Cyndi Lauper’s version, although apparently Miley Cyrus’ Girls Just Wanna… is quite popular according to iTunes).

My Guilty Secret (of the day)

Tonight I practiced my yoga for the first time in about two weeks. As I was practicing it felt so good. And I noticed my stiffness. I thought it was absurd that I'd been away from it for so long. My guilty secret. How could I?

This is how life happens. I'm busy. I'm running. I'm doing. I forget to do the things that help me take care of myself.

Least I sound too smarmy and righteous, I will admit that instead of yogacizing, I did continue running and I read the new Harry Potter book. It was as if I had to give up one thing I do for myself in favor of another. And I might consider this Harry Potter business another secret, since I think of it as a guilty pleasure. Not great literature. Not biography that I'll learn from. No new themes. Just the usual good versus evil. Just FUN.

So, how to prioritize "me" time. I'm often reminded of the oxygen on the airplane example. You know, you can't help your child unless you help yourself first. In order to be there for anyone else we have to be there first for ourselves.

I anticipate your complaints. Not selfishly. Not excluding the desire, needs and wants of others. But taking care of your own needs. Sometimes taking care of them first.

When I finish this, I'm going to consider what I can do for myself that will equal the pleasure I got from reading the Harry Potter book. There's got to be something. Another book? Playing the piano? Meditating? Writing?

Guiltless fun. Maybe I'll re-read the first six Potter books. Or maybe just paint my toenails.